The Delegation of Aurelius
by RaB
Summary: **Complete** Angel and Spike must face the Delegation of their order ~Sequal to "Dawn, the Vampire Slayer" though you don't need to have read that to read this~ PLEASE R
1. Spike's Invitation

Disclaimer: I own nothing; all the characters come from the great and wondrous mind of Joss Whedon.  
  
A/n: Tara isn't dead(~sigh~ if only it were so) Takes place about a year after Entropy in terms of the Spike/Buffy relationship, but Anya and Xander go through with the wedding so obviously Spike and Anya never slept together(bare with me guys) Also, Connor was never stolen from Angel and the Holtz situation was taken care of  
  
SEQUAL TO ~DAWN, THE VAMPIRE SLAYER~  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Buffy dodged to the left. The opponent she faced was a fair one, equal to her in strength and speed. One thing that this particular opponent did not have was Buffy's experience. But time was also a handicap for Buffy, for one thing that her opponent had, was her youth.  
  
Buffy did a back hand spring to escape from the clutches of her adversary. As she stood she threw up her fists to block another punch and quickly tripped her foe onto her back.  
  
"Ow!" Dawn exclaimed as she fell backward onto the blue mat.  
  
"Oh! Sorry," Buffy said as she helped Dawn up from off the floor.  
  
"Excellent, both of you! All of our training is obviously paying off," Giles chimed in as he walked over from the corner he had been observing from, a huge smile across his face.  
  
The girls nodded in unison as they walked out of the training room in the back of the Magic Box, their watcher taking up the rear.  
  
"So, who's patrolling tonight?" Giles asked.  
  
"Me," Dawn replied excitedly. There was nothing she loved more than killing things, in a good way.  
  
"Do you want someone to go with you? I could if you'd like," Buffy suggested.  
  
"S'okay. Spike's coming with me."  
  
"Spike?" Buffy inquired. Dawn noticed that she got that googly eyed look on her face again and she rolled her eyes. It had been over a year since their little affair that no one but Buffy, Spike and Dawn knew about. As a matter of fact, Buffy didn't even know that Dawn knew. Dawn walked behind the counter where she kept a bottle of water; Buffy followed her briskly.  
  
"Ah, Dawn? Could I ask you something?"  
  
"You just did," Dawn said as she put the bottle to her lips.  
  
"Whatever. I just wanna know, do you still have a crush on Spike?"  
  
Dawn nearly choked. "What? Ew, no! I mean, yeah, I get that he's drop- dead gorgeous, no pun intended, but no. He's like a brother to me. I mean, all my friends have crushes on him though. Why? You jealous?"  
  
"Jealous? Of what?"  
  
"I mean, I could go out with him according to your dating rules."  
  
"WHAT? You may not go out with him? He's way too old."  
  
"Excuse me? Last time I checked you were my age when you went out with Angel and he's like, twice as old as Spike and Buffy, breathe. I'm just kidding."  
  
Buffy relaxed and let out a sigh. "Why do you do this to me?"  
  
Dawn smiled. "I live to drive you crazy."  
  
"Was I like this with mom?"  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
"Oh my god," Buffy sighed again and she put her face down in her hands. She looked up at her sister who had a devious grin on her face, one that very much reminded her of the one Spike has. Maybe Dawn was just spending too much time with him, but maybe that was okay. Spike absolutely adored Dawn, and Dawn really benefited from having someone to talk to that wasn't of the living. It had always helped Buffy when she could talk to Angel, get an insider's opinion.  
  
"So Dawn, you got the slayage covered for tonight?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Definitely. I'm supposed to meet Spike at sunset."  
  
"Okay. Is your homework done?"  
  
"Buffy, I took my last final two days ago," Dawn told her sister, annoyance on her face.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I got to go, bye Buffy, Anya, Giles. I'll see you at home."  
  
"Bye Dawn," Giles called, as Buffy and Anya both waved to the Slayer.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Dawn moved quickly through the headstones to where she knew she would meet her partner. Her heightened senses caused her to flinch at every snap of a twig or crunch of leaves. She had learned however, to determine between a vampire and a stray cat. Still, she kept aware of her surroundings.  
  
She continued to walk until she felt a presence from behind her. A guttural voice spoke to her.  
  
"Slayer."  
  
She whipped around and threw a fist at the jaw of the potential attacker. Her hand was caught however, by the glowing face of the familiar vampire.  
  
"Spike!" She shouted with annoyance.  
  
"Oh, come now, Bitty Slayer," he laughed teasingly.  
  
"Yeah, be more immature."  
  
"Someone's in a temper tonight, what's wrong?" He asked as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it.  
  
"Nothing, you just startled me."  
  
"Sorry Platelet, just having a little fun is all," Spike put on a pout that causes a smile to break on Dawn's face.  
  
"Whatever. Just, for someone who is one hundred and twenty years old, you really need to grow up."  
  
Dawn smiled again as Spike ruffled her hair and they began to walk through the graveyard. It appeared to be a quiet night, which made Spike feel kind of antsy. Vampire, human or other, he always had a great appreciation for violence.  
  
Suddenly, from behind the Lexington Crypt, two grimy looking vampires jumped out at Dawn, grabbing her arms. Without thinking, Spike ran to where she was being held and knocked the vampire form her left arm giving Dawn the opportunity to punch the other vamp that was on her right. They fought for a few minutes, almost to a beat. It came to a point where Dawn and Spike stood back to back in fighting stance, ready for the next pounce. Dawn turned quickly and kicked the vampire she was facing to the ground. She staked him and instinctively threw the stake to Spike who dusted the vampire within seconds of catching it. The action was over and Dawn stood facing Spike and they both let out a tired laugh.  
  
"That was fun," Spike said.  
  
"Oh yeah, gets the blood pumping," Dawn stated, and to this Spike cocked and eyebrow. Dawn just laughed at him.  
  
"You okay?" He asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm good. You?"  
  
"I think I'll be-" but before Spike could finish his response, he felt this energy course through him. It was like the world began to spin faster than it usually did, and yet he was stuck where he stood. The energy was powerful, and warning, and hot.  
  
"Spike?" Dawn asked concerned, noticing his sudden airiness. "Spike?"  
  
But to Spike her voice was fading as his knees gave in to the weight of the rest of the body and he fell to the ground, fearing what he knew he'd have to do. 


	2. Angel's Invitation

Angel walked in through the front doors of the Hyperion Hotel at about eleven after taking out a nest of vamps in downtown LA. It always made him feel good, and a even a little pompous at times, to know that he made the world safer for mankind. But none of that mattered. No, none of that mattered as long as he was making it safe for the world of one little boy.  
  
He walked into the lobby to see Lorne on his hands and knees with the eighteen month old boy laughing on his back. When the child saw Angel walk in, he stopped everything and jumped of the back of the Host.  
  
"DADDY!" He yelled excitedly as he ran into Angel's arms.  
  
"Hey Connor," Angel replied just as enthusiastically as he picked up his son and kissed him on the forehead. "What are you still doing up? It's very late for little boys like yourself. Shouldn't you be in bed?"  
  
"NOOOOOOOO!" Connor shouted at the notion of bed, he wouldn't have any of it.  
  
"Well, I kind of left my Coke open at dinner and Connor kind of drank it when I wasn't looking," the explained the young Texan girl from the round red couch in the lobby.  
  
"It's okay Fred," Angel laughed, "I don't mind putting my boy to bed. Say goodnight, Connor."  
  
"NO NO NO! No bed!"  
  
"Connor," Angel stated warningly.  
  
To that the small boy put his head on Angel's shoulder and mumbled what sounded like a goodnight to the rest of the team.  
  
Wesley walked over and ruffled the boy's hair as he walked tot he couch were he more collapsed than sat. The rest said goodnight as Angel walked up the staircase to the room where his child slept.  
  
As soon as his head is was on the pillow, Connor's eyelids drooped and fell closed. The boy was asleep before Angel even finished tucking him in.  
  
"Goodnight Connor," he told his son as he turned and walked back downstairs.  
  
When he reached the rest of the team, everyone looked completely beat. Gunn's clothes as well as Wes's and Cordelia's were still covered in vamp dust.  
  
"Ow," Cordy moaned as she leaned into Wesley. "I forgot how much I could ache at one time."  
  
"I haven't," Gunn told her as he put his arm around Fred who leaned against him as if it were reflexive.  
  
"Oh, come on guys. It wasn't that bad," Angel told them, attempting to lift their spirits. They all just groaned and rolled their eyes at the vampire. Angel just shrugged and walked over to the small refrigerator which was kept in the office. He pulled out a mug of blood and walked back over to where his companions rested for the time being.  
  
Angel smiled when he came back at the sight of everyone picking up the toys that had been left out. Something that Angel never even dreamed of happening after becoming a vampire was right in front of him. One would think that he was perfectly content, which wouldn't be so good for him and the ones he loves, but the constant worry of parenthood kept him from becoming unsoulful.  
  
Angel raised the glass of pig's blood to his lips and just before the mug touched his mouth, he released it and it fell to the ground. The sound of shattering glass which was right next to Angel seemed miles away. He felt as though a gust of wind came through the hotel lobby, and the wind carried power, and hate, and fear. His head spun as he fell onto his hands and knees, oblivious to the cries of his friends. He looked up slowly at the blurred vision of the people in the room, and then slowly looked back down at the ground in fury and fear.  
  
"Oh god," he moaned through the terrible screams in his head. "They're here." 


	3. Phone Call

Dawn walked Spike back to her house, constantly attempting to get his attention. Every now and then he would respond with a 'huh?' or a 'what?', but little in the way of complex conversation. His expression was glossed and he appeared to be staring at something that wasn't there. Dawn was terribly worried for this was not like Spike at all. He was never that quiet, not since the nights after Buffy had died, so she walked him to her house to maybe get him to snap out of his daze.  
  
They walked in through the back door to see Tara and Willow sitting comfortably on the living room couch, watching some show or another. When they saw Spike they were both taken aback. He seemed to have lost the little color that was left in his very pale face, and Tara walked to where they stood.  
  
"Spike?" She asked, a touch of concern in her voice. He didn't respond, and Tara took notice of the worried and dazed expression on his face.  
  
"Oh-oh my god. Is he, is he okay? I mean, did something happen. Are you hurt?"  
  
"No," Dawn replied quickly, trying to think of what could have caused is condition. She tried to think of any strange events that lead up to his strange collapse in the graveyard, but nothing specific came to mind.  
  
"He just, he kind of went into this daze while we were patrolling. Is he gonna be okay?"  
  
"A phone," Spike stated as clearly as he could, the first coherent thought that came to his mind since his fall in the graveyard. "I need to use your phone."  
  
"Um, okay," Dawn replied, almost in a whisper as she walked with him to the phone in the kitchen. He picked it up, and slowly placed it back on the receiver, realizing that he didn't know the number of the place he wished to call.  
  
"Dawn, is Buffy home?"  
  
"Uh, I don't think so, why?"  
  
"I need a number, Angel Investigations."  
  
Now Dawn was really shocked. She knew as well as anyone else how much Spike hated his grandsire, so the fact that he would want to call him worried her even more.  
  
"I have the number, Buffy put it on the little bulletin board in case of emergencies," she told him as she walked to where the number was written. She didn't take her eyes of Spike, and she began to wonder if he'd ever come out of his daze.  
  
Spike picked up the phone and made the call he was hoping he'd never have to, not only due to his own little grudges, but mostly due to what it meant.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Gunn ran over to the phone from where he stood by Angel and the others. Angel had suddenly collapsed and mumbled something under his breath. Once they got him up and onto the sofa, he merely sat with his head in his hands, shaking and nodding it to the interrogation that followed his fall.  
  
"Angel Investigations, we help the helpless," Gunn told the caller as pleasantly as possible.  
  
"I need to talk to Angel," responded a cockney accent from the other end.  
  
"Uh, he's a bit indisposed at the moment, can I take a message and have him call you back? Or maybe there's something I can help you with, Sir."  
  
Spike just laughed. "Indisposed, hm? Well, there is a message I'd like for you to give to him."  
  
"Okay. What's that?"  
  
"Tell him I said to SUCK IT UP, AND GET HIS PONCY, POOFTER ARSE OVER TO THE BLOODY PHONE!!!"  
  
Gunn pulled the phone away from his ear, a little startled at the yelling from the other line. He put his ear back up and listened, and he heard the distant voice of a young girl, but he couldn't make out what she was saying.  
  
"Uh, I'll see if he'll take the call," Gunn told the obviously aggravated man. He then put the phone on hold and walked to where Angel was having a serious brood-fest.  
  
"Angel, there's a call for you."  
  
"Take a message."  
  
"Already did. The guys said something along the lines of 'get your poncy ass to the phone'."  
  
Angel's head shot up. So it wasn't just him. He was glad that he wasn't just going crazy, but if Spike was calling him(no one else had called him a ponce in over a hundred years) then it confirmed his suspicion.  
  
Angel walked over to the front desk and picked up the phone. He placed it to his ear and took a deep, unnecessary breath.  
  
"Hello Spike."  
  
"Angelus," Spike simply stated in a calm and even voice.  
  
"I take it this isn't a social call, being as how we hate each other."  
  
"Aw, you mean I can't just call and chat up me old grandsire every now and then?"  
  
"Spike." Angel spoke his name warningly.  
  
"Okay, sorry. I just, I get obnoxious when I'm nervous so bare with me. Did you feel it?"  
  
Angel sighed loudly enough in response so that Spike's vamp hearing could pick it up.  
  
"So you got your invitation then? This is it. They're here."  
  
"There's no other explanation for it. It makes sense, I counted the days since St. Vigeous and."  
  
"Oh god. Do we have to go?"  
  
"Considering your status, they'll find you if you don't."  
  
"They'll kill us you know. They'll kill us for what we do, Angelus."  
  
"If they know. The Aurelians are brutal, but not as smart as they claim to be."  
  
"That's a nice way to speak of your- our own order."  
  
"What ca I say, Spike? I'm a black sheep"  
  
Spike laughed. "Aurelians. Huh, I only met the master once myself. You remember, in Venice?"  
  
"How can I forget?"  
  
Spike laughed at the memory of his visit to the underground lair of the vampire master. He didn't remember the details, but he remembered how happy the master was to see Darla, and how he looked like he might heave at the sight of Angelus. He took an immediate liking to Spike, who was polite and respectful, obviously Angelus hadn't been at their first meeting. Spike could recall Angelus telling him how he had been thrown across the room. He also remembered Drusilla's extra airiness, but the master simply disregarded the crazy girl.  
  
"So, what now?" Spike asked, "what do I do."  
  
"You don't remember what I told you?"  
  
"I remember, but it's been a while, mate."  
  
"I know, I just, I need a day or two, can I call you back?"  
  
"Well, I'm calling from Buffy's house right now, don't have a phone myself."  
  
"Buffy?" Angel trailed of, he didn't even want to know what Spike was doing at Buffy's house. He knew that Spike had some sort of "doomed obsession" with Buffy, but he couldn't imagine Buffy ever wanting Spike or reciprocating any feelings.  
  
"Don't get your knickers in a twist," Spike responded, practically reading Angel's mind, "I'm hear with the kid sis."  
  
"You're with Dawn?"  
  
"NO!" Spike shouted, "no no no! Nothing like that. I was patrolling with her when I got kind of, you know. So I came back here and called you. You do realize that I'm not sure how all of this works."  
  
"I get that, but." Angel trailed of and sighed heavily, this would be more complicated than he thought.  
  
"Look, be at Buffy's house tomorrow night at ten, I'll call there, okay?"  
  
Spike laughed quickly, but long enough for Angel to get annoyed.  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's nothing. Just, you talking to me like we're friends."  
  
Angel sighed again. "You know that's never gonna happen, Spike? How could it."  
  
"I know. But I'll be here tomorrow just the same."  
  
"Good."  
  
"Right then."  
  
Spike returned the phone to the receiver. He looked at his feet and laughed before looking back up at Dawn who had a thoughtful frown on her face. She walked over to him and just stood in front of him, not changing the expression on her face.  
  
"You know, you're gonna be as tall as me soon," Spike told her, attempting to lighten the mood. Dawn didn't smile.  
  
"What's going on? Who are the Aurelians?"  
  
"Uh, Dawn, it's kind of-"  
  
"What about the Aurelians?" Buffy asked as she walked in to the kitchen, just returning from her time at the Bronze with Xander and Anya.  
  
"You know who they are?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Yeah, that's the master's order. Uh, I stopped his ascension onto the plain of the living," Buffy laughed. "Hey Spike."  
  
"Slayer," he nodded, acknowledging Buffy as he fell heavily onto a kitchen stool.  
  
"You okay Spike? And what's up with the Aurelians? I thought I took out most of them."  
  
"You did. But there's still enough," Spike told her.  
  
"Enough for what?"  
  
"The Delegation of Aurelius, it's here." 


	4. Callous

"What? What's the Delegation of Aurelius?" Buffy asked, completely confused.  
  
"Long story, pet," Spike told her as he began to walk from the kitchen toward the back door. Buffy ran to him and grabbed his arm.  
  
"Then give me the short version."  
  
"Okay. About six hundred years ago, a man named Heinrich Joseph Nest-"  
  
"The Master," Buffy interrupted.  
  
"Yes, the Master, became a vampire and began an entire order: The order of Aurelius. Anyway, he took over and became really powerful just under five years after the last feast of St. Vigeous." Spike trailed of and smiled at Buffy who returned the gesture. It was two nights before the most recent feast that they had met, and almost killed one another.  
  
"Anyway, he decided that just under five years after the next feast of St. Vigeous, there would be a delegation, a meeting of his 'family' I guess. An invitation would be sent in the form of a. I don't know how to describe it, what Dawn saw happen to me in the graveyard. Not all of the members of the order will be invited, only first and second generation mostly but, even I'm a fourth generation-"  
  
"Stop," Buffy told him. "How are you related to. oh. Darla. Was she sired by the master?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"That explains a lot, about Angel I mean. Um, so wait, why are you invited then, if you're fourth generation."  
  
"Status, love. I killed two slayers, plus I survived you which an accomplishment in itself. They want vampires with power to be there."  
  
"What about the chip?" Dawn asked, "don't they know?"  
  
"Apparently not, nor about Angel's soul. That is, unless, they want to kill us."  
  
"Kill you? No! Then you can't go! I'll get stakes and holy water and, and. bash heads!"  
  
"It's probably not that simple, Dawnie. Things are never that simple."  
  
"Big sis is right, Nibblet. I have to do this. Sacred family duty and all that shit."  
  
"But, if they kill you. I won't let you go!"  
  
Spike walked over to Dawn and placed his hands on her shoulder and squeezed them tightly. He shook his head before he spoke.  
  
"You remember the night the Hellions came?"  
  
"Yes," Dawn replied quietly.  
  
"Remember what I told you?" Dawn looked at the ground. "I get that your scared, believe me, I am too, and there isn't that much out there that makes me wanna hide under the linens but it's just one of those things. I can't run from this 'cause if I try, they'll still find me and kill me for being disrespectful so either way, I have to do this."  
  
"It isn't fair," Dawn mumbled.  
  
"It never is," Spike smiled at her as he took her head in his hands and kissed her forehead. He looked up and spoke to Buffy next.  
  
"I need to use your phone tomorrow, Angel's gonna call me here. Not that we're all chummy or anything but he still gets this better than I do."  
  
Buffy nodded in response, she had no objection. She thought that this would be a good time to tell him how she felt, all romantic and in the moment, but she decided against it. If there was one thing Buffy had become good at, it was hiding her feelings from the world. Her art had become callousness, and no matter how hard she fought against it, her hard outer shell always seemed to win. She wished she could just run into his arms and have him hold her again, but she couldn't do that. It wasn't that easy. Like she had said moments before, it was never that easy  
  
Spike nodded at them both and walked toward the back door and without objection from either of the Summers, he left. Dawn shook her head and stormed up the stairs followed by a concerned Tara.  
  
"What was that all about? Is Spike okay?"  
  
"Peachy," Dawn told Tara with sarcasm in her not only her voice but also in the phony smile she had on her face.  
  
"Dawn." Tara said warningly, in a way that reminded Dawn of her mother.  
  
"I didn't catch everything, Buffy understands better. It's something about the Order of Aurelius."  
  
"Aurelius, I've never heard of that."  
  
"It's Spike's order, and they're having a delegation or something."  
  
"So, what's the big deal? We'll assemble the Scoobies. Prepare and such."  
  
"Spike says I can't."  
  
"What do you mean, 'you can't'?"  
  
"I dunno, but he says that there's nothing I can do, that he has to go."  
  
"And he's in danger?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And you feel helpless?"  
  
Dawn lowered her head. "Yes."  
  
Tara cocked her head and took a good look at the sixteen year old girl sitting on the bed. She hadn't noticed till just then how much older she looked, how much more mature. She walked over to Dawn and hugged her tightly, and a few salty tears fell from Dawn's eyes; she felt like she was in her mother's arms again.  
  
"I know it's hard sometimes, to just sit back and watch stuff like this happen. Sometimes, Dawnie, though it may not seem so, it can be best to let things take their course. I know Spike can seem young and well, stupid at times, but he's smarter that you think. He's got a good century on all of us and, he knows what he's doing."  
  
Dawn nodded and pulled back from Tara, wiping the tears from her eyes and cheeks. She looked at the clock, the glowing red numbers told her that it was 1:45, a good four hours before the sun began to rise.  
  
"I'm gonna finish patrolling," Dawn told Tara as she hopped off her bed.  
  
"Okay. Will you be alright by yourself?"  
  
Dawn nodded as she walked out of her door to the stairs. She couldn't be happier about the fact that her "family" knew about her situation and accepted it; she really wasn't in the mood to climb out of a window. Also, when she was stressed and wanted to Bronze it, she always had the bullshit "patrolling" excuse, and it worked like a charm every time. 


	5. Dancing

Dawn walked into the Bronze after getting her hand stamped outside. She rolled her eyes at the fact that she was old enough and not to mention strong enough to save the world, yet she was too young to drink. The young slayer just shrugged it off and continued into the Bronze, she was never into the whole alcohol scene anyway.  
  
She stepped onto the catwalk and moved around a bit, looking for someone she might know. She sighed when she thought she was all alone, but then saw Janice on the dance floor with her most recent fling. He was tall and toned and blonde, just what Janice liked in a boyfriend. He was black clad and handsome, and Dawn could tell why Janice had been holding onto him. Also, from what her slayer senses could tell, he wasn't a vampire.  
  
"Hey Janice," Dawn said walking up to her friend.  
  
"Hey Summers," Janice replied excitedly as she gave Dawn a friendly hug.  
  
"Janice, shouldn't young girls like yourself be in bed?" Dawn asked jokingly.  
  
"I could say the same to you, Dawn."  
  
"How'd you escape?"  
  
"Actually, I told my mom that I wanted to got to the Bronze and celebrate the end of school with Kurt and a couple of friend. She was so thrilled that I was being honest she told me I could stay out till two if I called every two hours. How about you?"  
  
"They think I'm p- at a friends."  
  
"They think you're. patting friends?"  
  
"Janice, shut up."  
  
The girls laughed and Janice introduced Kurt. Apparently Janice had even introduced Kurt to her mother, which was a total first. Dawn's friend had really made a three-sixty.  
  
"So, why are you escaping?" Janice asked as Kurt left to get drinks.  
  
"I'm kind of depressed and it's complicated. Like, really complicated."  
  
"Oh come on, you can tell me."  
  
"I wouldn't even know where to begin."  
  
"Can I guess?"  
  
Dawn laughed. "You can try."  
  
"Hmm. does it have to do with a guy."  
  
"You could say that."  
  
"Really?" Janice asked excitedly, "who?"  
  
"Do you remember Spike?"  
  
"Do I remember Spike? Spike your absolutely gorgeous older friend Spike who really needs to call me if I wasn't involved? Yeah, I remember him. Why? Oh my god! Are you sneaking out to see him?"  
  
"No! Ew! It's nothing like that, I'm not seeing him, not like that. It's just." Dawn paused and sighed, "he's going away and it'll be really up in the air whether I'll ever see him again and there's nothing I can do about it."  
  
"Wow. Where is he going?"  
  
Dawn had to seriously contemplate this one. "Peace core."  
  
Janice nodded and attempted to console her friend before Kurt came back. When he did, Janice took her drink which was almost knocked out of her hand by Dawn who jumped instinctively. Her slayer senses were tingling and she knew that a vampire was close to her. She ignored her friend's annoyed banter and walked toward the bar where she found just the vampire she had been subconsciously been hoping to see.  
  
"Hi Spike."  
  
Spike jerked up from the glass he had been studying in his hands. He looked at Dawn and smiled softly the way he always did when she was.  
  
"Hey Nibblet."  
  
Dawn sat next to him and put her hand over his and he looked back down.  
  
"You gonna need a designated driver?" She asked with a half smirk on her face, one that resembled his own.  
  
"What are you doing here, Lil' bit?"  
  
"Um, patrolling?"  
  
Spike laughed not even half-heartedly, he looked tired, and for some reason older than he usually did. A slow song came on and Dawn had an idea.  
  
"Dance with me Spike," she told him rather than asked.  
  
"What?" Spike was speechless. It was strange for him because usually he used dancing as a reference to fighting or making love. Often to him they were one in the same. He shook his head and smiled at her again.  
  
"You know I can't say no to you, Dawn."  
  
"Damn straight," she told him as she put out her hand and he took it in his own. She had become used to his cold body since she was often enough close enough to feel the extreme lack of temperature, and didn't even flinch when she pulled into his chest. She put her arms up on his shoulders by his neck and he lowered his by her waist.  
  
They danced there, and it wasn't half as awkward as Dawn or Spike imagined it would be, except when Dawn looked over to see Janice raising an eyebrow at the odd couple. Dawn just pulled in closer and put her head on his muscular chest. She felt the tears begin to rise in her eyes again but she just suppressed them. She nuzzled her head into him and without looking up, she spoke softly.  
  
"I don't want you to go."  
  
"I know, pet, I know."  
  
"It still isn't fair."  
  
"I know, love. I wish it were different."  
  
"Why'd you have to come into my life? Why'd you have to become so important?"  
  
Spike was stunned by the last questions. He really wasn't expecting that, especially since he didn't have an answer. But he kept on dancing and answered Dawn's question with one of his own.  
  
"Do you wish I hadn't?"  
  
Dawn shook her head. "Never."  
  
And at this she began to cry. Not a loud choking sob, but tears fell gently from her eyes to Spike's chest where her head lay. They kept dancing, slowly to the beat of the music, as Dawn tightened her grip around the vampire's neck. She thought to herself maybe if she didn't let him go he could stay. Maybe they could just keep dancing and no one at the delegation would know he was missing. Dawn even considered knocking him out and locking him in her basement, and if the Aurelians cam after him, she and Buffy could protect him and he would be safe. But still, she understood what he had to do. She understood the same way she understood why Buffy had to jump. She hated that yet another person was leaving her, but she kept told herself that it wouldn't be forever. She held on to him while she could, as she danced and cried to the beat of the music. 


	6. Waking

Dawn rolled over in her bed, tired and with the hint of a headache. She wanted to open her eyes but decided against it. It was summer and she could sleep as late as she wanted. She smiled and rolled over again, and it was then that she noticed how large her bed had become. She opened her eyes and sat up quickly, observing her surrounding.  
  
"Oh shit!" She whispered, she was really deep in it now. She looked around her to see stone and dirt walls that really resembled the lower level of Spike's crypt. She looked down to see herself in Spike's bed, wearing her clothes from the night before.  
  
She looked around again and didn't see Spike, but decided that she must have fallen asleep last night when she came over after they're dance at the Bronze. She remembered that they came down to the lower level, he lit some candles, and. oh! He was telling her horror stories from his badass days. She could've sworn that she had only closed her eyes for a second. And why the hell couldn't Spike have woken her up?  
  
"Buffy will never forgive me."  
  
Dawn climbed out of the bed and felt her bare feet hit the carpet and Dawn started to wonder how Spike got a carpet, not to mention a bed into his crypt. She stopped and then wondered how her shoes came off. She looked around the floor and saw them placed at the foot of the bed. She smiled to herself because she remembered that she hadn't put them there, Spike was becoming a real big bad babysitter. Dawn placed the shoes on her feet and proceeded to the upstairs level of the crypt.  
  
She opened the trap door and walked to the over to where Spike was sitting. When he saw her he smile, and put down the box of Weetabix he had in one hand and the mug of blood he had in the other.  
  
"Morning, Nibblet. Thought you'd sleep the rest of the day."  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes at him and turned her attention to his breakfast. "How can you eat that stuff?"  
  
"What? The blood? Kind of a necessity, pet."  
  
"No, I mean the Weetabix. It's like shredded cardboard."  
  
Spike laughed at Dawn as she turned around and started looking for her bag, she mumbled under her breath: "Buffy is so going to kill me."  
  
"Don't worry about it, love."  
  
"Oh, I'm worried. Why didn't you wake me up?"  
  
"Sorry, Dawn. Just, you were really tired and I didn't want to disturb you. Besides, I would have you know, told Buffy where you were but, there's the whole daylight thing as well as the no phone thing."  
  
Dawn nodded as she found her bag; she looked inside to see stakes, crosses, holy water, and her cell. She looked up from the contents to see a box of Peanut Butter Ritz Bits sitting next to the fridge.  
  
"Oo! Crackers," she said as she picked up the box and shoved her hand in hungrily, "I'm starved."  
  
"Help yourself then, you can take'em on the road if you like, I can get more."  
  
"Nah, I can chill a minute for breakfast with my favorite neutered vampire."  
  
Spike gave her a look that told her she was pushing it, but she just laughed and sat on the tomb that was in his crypt. Just as she was about to put the first cracker into her mouth, the door of the crypt slammed open, bathing Spike in the glistening sunlight.  
  
"AHHHH!!!"  
  
Xander walked in, quickly closing the door behind himself. "Uh, sorry. Hate to pop by at such a flammable time of day but have you seen.Dawn!"  
  
Dawn smiled guiltily and waved at Xander, her mouth full of cracker. "Morning Xander."  
  
"Morning? It's almost one in the afternoon. You scared us all half to death. You went out patrolling at two in the morning and you weren't back yet. What are you doing here."  
  
"Um, I came here after patrolling and we went downstairs and I fell asleep on his bed."  
  
"Why were you on his bed?"  
  
"We were talking, Xander. I fell asleep and he said he didn't wanna wake me. Don't be mad at him."  
  
"Yeah, I'll bet he didn't want to wake you," Xander mumbled under his breath.  
  
"XANDER!" Dawn yelled at him, angered by his accusation.  
  
Xander just rolled his eyes. "Look, we better get you home before your sister has a heart attack."  
  
Dawn nodded. She walked picked up her bag and walked over to Spike, placing her arms around his waist. He returned the gesture and ruffled her hair after she let go.  
  
"You'll be by tonight, right?"  
  
"Yeah, 'round ten, the great poof is gonna call me."  
  
Dawn laughed and nodded at him, as Xander followed her out of the crypt.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"You were WHERE all night?" Buffy asked her sister angrily as Xander told her where she had spent the night.  
  
"I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this. I was sleeping."  
  
"Why I'm making such a big deal? Dawn, you were out all night with a vampire and you said you were going patrolling."  
  
"So, do you want me to count the nights you snack out to be with Angel at his apartment, and I'm not even involved with Spike. Or, or, or, how about running away for three months without a phone call?"  
  
"That was different."  
  
"No it isn't Buffy! Why is it that you got all these special privileges? I'm the slayer too, remember? It's not so different. You just say it is so that you can boss me around."  
  
"But Spike? Why does it have to be with Spike? Why can't you just go to the Bronze like other normal teenagers who sneak out?"  
  
"Because someone I love is going to be putting himself in mortal danger and so god forbid I should want to spend a little time with him before he dies."  
  
The Summers' living room became silent between Buffy, Dawn, Xander, Willow and Tara. They all just stared at the young, and very frustrated slayer.  
  
"You love him?" Buffy asked hey sister quietly.  
  
Dawn groaned angrily, made an about face and stormed up the stairs. She got about half way up before turning around, and walking storming back over to her sister and looking at her dead in the eyes.  
  
"You know Buffy, you can be really thick sometimes," Dawn stated clearly and coldly before finally turning around, walking to her room, and slamming the door behind her as loudly as possible without breaking it.  
  
Buffy looked from her friends to the stairs and back to her friends again. She sighed heavily and walked up to her sister's room where the door was shut. She knocked three times and asked if she could come in. She did anyway before Dawn could say no.  
  
"Hey Dawnie."  
  
"I didn't say you could come in," Dawn told her angrily, not turning around to look at the eldest slayer.  
  
"I know, I want to talk to you," she said softly, sitting on her sister's bed.  
  
"Oh great, this should be fun."  
  
"Look, I'm sorry I lost it down there, I just worry."  
  
"Okay, I get. So, because you worry, I can't do anything."  
  
"Dawn." Buffy stated warningly. "I'm not worried about you handling your own, I've seen you do it, and your amazing. I'm just worried about you spending so much time with Spike?"  
  
"What? How could you? What are you afraid of? Do you think he's going to hurt me or something?"  
  
"No, it's not like that. He adores you, I know it, I'm pretty sure we all know it. It's just that you don't know the Spike I knew five years ago. I don't believe that he could just change like that in that amount of time. He spent over a hundred years murdering people, slaughtering half of Europe. Whether you want to admit this to yourself or not, Dawn, he's evil."  
  
Dawn sat up and shook her head. "You have no idea how wrong you are."  
  
"Wrong how?"  
  
"I was do know what Spike was like five years ago. Or have you forgotten? Angel kidnapped me, remember? I met Spike and Drusilla."  
  
"I remember Dawn, I just didn't realize-"  
  
"He was in a wheelchair, from when you collapsed an organ on him. Dru would threaten to eat me, and that was when he started calling me Nibblet, you know? He said that I'd be tasty. He said what his baby wants his baby gets. Then, they made out in fron tof me which was wicked gross but Buffy, I do know what he was like. I didn't like it, I hated him. And I still can't believe that that was the same Spike."  
  
"But that's the thing Dawn. Him getting a chip in his head that neuters him doesn't make him a good person. He still evil, soulless,"  
  
"See, that's your problem Buffy, everything is just black and white for you. And it terrifies you that maybe, just maybe you've found the gray. It was so much easier when everything had a place, and that's why you broke it off with Spike, because it scared you."  
  
Buffy's face became pale. She hadn't slept with Spike in over a year. "How do you know about that? Did he tell you?"  
  
"No, I figured it out while it was still going on. I would talk to him about it sometimes, but he didn't tell me initially."  
  
Buffy nodded. She knew exactly what Dawn meant, and she was right. Buffy was terrified of Spike, terrified of how he made her feel. Feel in the literal sense and figurative sense. Every touch of his burned her and made her feel like she was real, and plain, and alive. But he was a vampire! He couldn't be good. He was only doing this so she wouldn't kill him, right? But Buffy knew the answer, and Buffy knew that every day she was falling more and more in love with him, so why could Dawn admit it, and nor her.  
  
"It's so complicated, Dawn. It's just so-"  
  
"Stop. Everyone is always telling me that it's complicated, like I don't understand or something. But I'm not a little kid anymore, I get thing, life thing, more than any of you care to notice. You were my age once, not that long ago. Spike was a teenager like, 120 years ago, but he still gets me better than any of you. I think what's really complicated is you and you just can't admit it so you put it all on me and-"  
  
"STOP IT! How dare you talk to me like that?"  
  
"What? Can't deal with the truth? It's not the first time though, I shouldn't be surprised."  
  
Buffy slapped her before she even knew her hand had left her side. After she had done it, Dawn just stared at her, contempt flaring in her eyes.  
  
"Get out of my room."  
  
Buffy nodded and left. She couldn't believe what she had done. Was that her? Was that her hand that violated her sister's face? She didn't know what was wrong with her. Everything had been so perfect till Spike said he was leaving. He always had to fuck up her life. Come into it and fuck it up. He had no idea what he was doing to her. How he was killing her inside. She thought it was bad being with him, but it was so much worse being without him. And then what? She took it out on her little sister? She loved Dawn more than anything in the world. How could she do that to her?  
  
Buffy walked into her room and shook her head at herself when she saw her reflection in the mirror. She was utterly ashamed. She was buying a one way ticket to self-destruction, and she didn't know what she could do.  
  
Buffy heard a light tapping on her door and she turned around quickly to see Tara standing on the other side of the threshold. Buffy nodded and Tara walked over to her.  
  
"Is everything okay?"  
  
"She knows," Buffy told her with a monotonous tone.  
  
"Knows what, sweety?"  
  
"About me and Spike. What we were doing last year."  
  
"You told Dawn?" Tara asked surprised at Buffy's supposed forwardness.  
  
"No. She just knew. Spike didn't tell her either. She just knew. It's like she knows me better than I know myself."  
  
"Well, you said it yourself, she was made from you."  
  
"What? How could you-"  
  
"Remember that when I was in 'La La Land'?" Tara finished Buffy's question lightheartedly. "I could here you. My true essence was still in my body Buffy, I heard everything."  
  
Buffy nodded and made a failed attempt at a smile. "I don't know what I'm going to do, Tara. He's really leaving. He's going away and what if I never tell him how I feel?"  
  
"How do you feel? Do you love him?"  
  
Tears filled Buffy's eyes. "Yes! Yes Tara! Everyday I'm falling even more head over heels in love with him and the more I avoid him the more I want him."  
  
"So why don't you tell him then. Go now, no one will judge you."  
  
"Oh right, the way I'm always not judged on everything I do. Everyone thinks that because I'm the slayer, I'm always okay. I can handle anything and everything and it'll always turn out okay. But then second I do the tiniest thing that anyone disapproves of, the fucking state is jumping down my god damn throat."  
  
Tara walked over to Buffy and took her hands. "If it helps, then, I won't judge you. I never have, and I promise you, I never will."  
  
Buffy broke down and fell into Tara's welcoming arms. She felt like she did the first time that she broke down in front of Tara, when she first confessed her relationship with Spike to anyone. She always knew she could trust Tara with her secrets, and Tara enjoyed being trusted. 


	7. Meanwhile, at Angel Investigations...

Cordelia looked at the stairs of the Hyperian Hotel. After explaining the Delegation of Aurelius to his friends, Angel had gotten up quietly and walked upstairs. It had been almost eight hours since then and no one had left the office, except for Gunn who had left to get breakfast for the crew of Angel Investigations.  
  
Fred walked quietly into Wesley's office where she say the ex-watcher fast asleep on top of a pile of books about vampire orders, as well as books on the Order of Aurelius. Fred walked over and picked one up. She opened it to look inside at the test and a picture fell out. She took it off of the floor and looked at it intrigued. The photograph was very old, the date on the back said 1894, and the front was a picture of a man and a woman in Victorian dress. The man had his arms around the woman's waist, and she was smiling at her lover, Fred assumed. She opened the book to where the picture fell from to see more photos of the couple. She jumped as Wesley's voice startled her.  
  
"See anything interesting?" He asked, still appearing fast asleep upon the pile of books, except for the movement of his mouth.  
  
Fred laughed uncomfortably as she put the book back on Wesley's desk. "You scared me."  
  
Wes opened his eyes and sat up, a piece of paper sticking to his face. He pulled it off and looked at the Texan girl. "Sorry. But really, did you see anything interesting?"  
  
Fred nodded and picked up the book she had been holding and looked at the title: "The Scourge of Europe". She wasn't really sure what that meant but she turned her attention to the picture that had intrigued her so. "This couple? Who are they?"  
  
"That would be Spike and Drusilla. Uh, Drusilla was sired by Angelus in 1860, and Spike was sired by Drusilla in 1880. They traveled with Angelus and Darla until 1900 when Angel got his soul. After that they were together for almost another century, when Spike was, uh, dumped by Drusilla for his interest in the slayer."  
  
"Angel's slayer? Um.Buffy? The same one?"  
  
"Yes. He's actually living in Sunnydale now, helps Buffy and her friends. Hasn't hurt a human in about for years."  
  
Fred looked puzzled. "How do you know all this?"  
  
Wesley smiled. "Word travels on the grapevine." Fred raised an eyebrow. "The grapevine being Angel."  
  
Fred laughed and looked back at the photograph. Spike was obviously very handsome, looks competing with Angel's she though. Though the picture was in black and white, she could tell that he had blonde hair, which complemented his pale, vampiric features. She wondered how old he was when he was turned; he looked like he couldn't have been older than twenty-five. She sighed at what a tragedy it must have been for his family to lose him. She then turned her attention to the woman. Raven-haired and mysterious, Drusilla looked as evil as she probably was. She was beautiful of course, but form Fred's experience, vampires just tended to look good.  
  
She placed the picture on the desk and looked back at Wesley. "May I borrow this?"  
  
Wesley nodded and opened another book; Fred turned and walked back into the lobby. She sat down on the sofa and opened the book. Cordy walked over to her and attempted to read over her shoulder.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Um. a book about some of Angel's vampire family," Fred told her as she turned to a page with more pictures.  
  
"HA!" A loud and mocking laughed escaped from Cordelia's mouth. Fred looked up confused.  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
"These pictures. Is that. is that Spike? Oh my god, the last time I saw him he was bleach blonde and black clad with a leather duster to top it off. The man looked like he was trapped in the seventies." Cordelia leaned over and looked at the dates on the pictures that were all from the late 1800s. When Cordelia finished getting over Spike in tweed, she looked back up at the stairs of the Hotel.  
  
"I'm gonna go check on Angel," she told anyone who would listen as she headed upstairs. She walked in the direction of Angel's room when she suddenly stopped, seeing that he was sitting in the rocking chair by Connor's crib, watching his son sleep. Cordy walked quietly over to Angel so as not to disturb the sleeping child, and placed a caring hand on her friend's shoulder.  
  
Angel didn't turn to look at her but acknowledged her presence with a nod of his head. "Hey Cordy."  
  
"Hey Angel," she whispered as she sat on the other chair beside the crib. "Are you okay?"  
  
"He lost his mother so young," he told her sadly, even at that point in time it was hard for Angel to think of Darla, "what if I die and he doesn't remember me either? What if I never get to watch him grow up?"  
  
"That's not gonna happen, Angel. We have been through so much worse, you will get through this and you will come back from whatever it is you have to do as good as new."  
  
He shook his head with the same sadness that he had whenever he mentioned his sire. "You know, I always thought I'd be at this thing with Darla. If you had asked me 110 years ago what I'd be doing at the Delegation, I would have told you that I would be marching in with Darla on one arm and Dru on the other, I would have staked Spike by that point of course, and I would have taken over. Look where I am now, Cordy. A single father who was trying to kill two people I had loved and almost the people he loved at the time doing it."  
  
"Things change, Angel. Everything has to change and it's not so bad."  
  
"Not us, not demons," he mumbled under his breath, remembering what Spike had said when he saw him for the first time in 100 years.  
  
"What's really wrong then, Angel?"  
  
He laughed as quietly as he could. "I'm afraid."  
  
"We all get scared, Angel. That's part of life."  
  
"But I'm not alive."  
  
"Last time I checked I wasn't wasting my time talking to a corpse. You have more life in you than many people I've met who, you know, aren't vampires. You have so more drive in left in you that I seriously doubt that the PTB's brought you all this way just to get you killed. You have so much more to do in this world Angel, sometimes you just gotta have a little faith."  
  
Angel smiled and nodded. Her words were just comforting enough to get him to the phone call he had to make that night. He was about to tell Cordy what a wonderful person she was, when his train of though was interrupted by the stirring of his young son. 


	8. Porch Talk

Buffy walked out of her room finally, it had been hours since the incident with Dawn. She could tell that Dawn had also remained put, since her door didn't open or close.  
  
Buffy walked downstairs to see her friends sitting on her couch in the living room, drinking coffee and talking quietly. Anya had come since Buffy was last downstairs, and was explaining something about her day at the shop. They all looked up when they saw Buffy enter the room.  
  
"You guys camping out or something?" Buffy asked sarcastically.  
  
Xander smiled and stood up. "We just wanted to make sure everything was okay. You know, make sure Dawn doesn't do a disappearing act again."  
  
Buffy nodded. "Oh! You mean you want to be nosy and see what happens when Spike comes over."  
  
Xander flushed. "Yeah, pretty much."  
  
"Mm hm. Well, at least you're being honest with me."  
  
Xander sat back down after Buffy took a seat of her own with the Scoobies. They made general small talk until after what seemed like an eternity to Buffy, the doorbell rang.  
  
Willow stood up and walked over to the door, obviously not realizing her friend's eagerness to see the bleached vampire.  
  
"Spike! Hey. Come on in," Willow greeted him politely, moving aside so that he could walk by.  
  
"Evening Red."  
  
Buffy looked at the clock, which told her it, was 9:52. He was right on time. She stood up and walked over to Spike.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Slayer," he nodded at her.  
  
Buffy was about to speak again when her attention as well as the vampires was turned to the stairs. Dawn was walking down quietly and slowly toward them. Her eyes were red and glazed. She shot Buffy a look that made her blood run cold. One of those, "I hate you" looks that Dawn did so well. Dawn then turned from her sister and walked to Spike. She didn't speak; she just looked up at him sadly.  
  
"Nibblet? What's wrong?" Spike asked concerned.  
  
She shook her head and leaned into him in response. He wrapped his arm around her and looked down at the young slayer.  
  
"Dawn, what's the matter? Were you crying."  
  
She nodded again, not wanting to speak in fear that she may burst into tears again.  
  
The sadness that Buffy saw she had caused her own sister made her heart ache. The guilt was almost unbearable, but she knew it would be best to just leave it alone for the time being.  
  
"Do you wanna talk?" Spike asked.  
  
She shook her head again, moved away from him and walked into the kitchen. Spike followed her along with Buffy.  
  
"Dawn, what happened? If something's bothering you."  
  
"No!" She finally spoke at him more than to him, "I don't want to talk."  
  
Dawn stormed away and out the front door as Buffy selfishly thanked the lord that Dawn didn't tell Spike about what happened. She knew how protective he was of her little sister and feared that he might go apeshit on her if he found out. Buffy wasn't so worried about the fact that she knew he could hit her, she was more worried about structural damage to the house if she and Spike had a fight. Spike turned to Buffy, a thoughtful frown on his beautiful face. He shook his head and looked at Buffy.  
  
"So, do you know what's wrong with her, or is it just one of those raging teenage hormone things?"  
  
Buffy was about to answer when the phone rang. She wasn't sure whether she or Spike should answer it, but she took the phone from the receiver just in case it wasn't Angel.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Angel."  
  
"Hey Buffy."  
  
Silence. This is how most of their conversations were, stoic.  
  
"So, how've you been?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Okay. You?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
"That's good."  
  
"I think so."  
  
More silence.  
  
"Do you want to talk to Spike?"  
  
"Please," Angel told her, sounding a little more eager than he had hoped. Buffy nodded though she knew Angel could not see her silent response. She handed the phone to Spike and walked outside. Spike watched her and came out of his daze when he heard Angel shouting into the phone.  
  
"Yes, I'm here, bloody stop with the noise you prat. You know that patience is a virtue right?"  
  
"Spike, just stop talking for once and listen okay."  
  
"Fine, on with it then."  
  
"Okay, so we've been doing some research on the Delegation and it's not going to be on the Hellmouth like I thought."  
  
"What, why not?"  
  
"To many demons, they want to be off the radar."  
  
"Uh-huh, so where is it then?"  
  
"Nevada, in the desert, outside of Vegas."  
  
"What? Well, that's bloody inconvenient seeing as how I have no transport. My car needs a new engine and I can't take to motorcycle to Nevada, seeing as how I'm going to have to drive during the day."  
  
Angel groaned and knew he was going to regret what he was about to say. "I'll take you."  
  
"What?" Spike asked, completely not believing what he heard.  
  
"I said I'll take you. If you make me repeat it again, I'll kill you."  
  
Spike laughed. "Okay mate, take it easy."  
  
Angel sighed and continued to tell Spike everything he knew.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Buffy sat outside on the porch with her head on her knees. She was tired, and confused, and frustrated, and didn't feel like being around.people. But of course, as if on cue, Spike stepped outside and sat next to her.  
  
"Hey Slayer."  
  
"Why are you always around when I'm miserable?"  
  
Spike smiled. "Because that's when your alone I reckon."  
  
Buffy laughed. "Yeah. And I can be alone with you here."  
  
"Thanks ever so."  
  
"Anytime, Spike. So, did you have a nice conversation with Angel."  
  
"As nice as it could get."  
  
"What did he say?"  
  
"I'm leaving tomorrow," Spike told her abruptly.  
  
"What? Tomorrow?"  
  
"Yeah, Angel's coming at around nine, got to get in as much driving as we can before the sun rises."  
  
Buffy nodded understandingly, she wasn't going to argue.  
  
"So really, what was wrong with Dawn?"  
  
Buffy couldn't think of a lie so she settled for the truth this time. "I hit her."  
  
Spike merely nodded understandingly. Buffy's eyes widened and she shifted where she sat so that she was facing him.  
  
"When?" She asked knowingly.  
  
Spike turned to Buffy. "About five years ago I s'pose. Can't tell you the exact date love, but it was when Dru and I had first come to this bleeding town."  
  
"When Angel kidnapped her?"  
  
"Yeah. I threw her against a wall."  
  
Buffy remembered the large bump that Dawn had on her head, and realized that that never actually happened. She laughed.  
  
"I always thought Angel did that."  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Well it doesn't matter, it never really happened anyway."  
  
It took Spike a minute to realize what she meant, but when he did, he just choked a laugh.  
  
"Yeah, but I still feel bloody bad about it. Every time I see her I think that she still hates me. I mean the way I treated her then, I'm like, was that really me?"  
  
Buffy nodded, a little surprised that he was admitting to actual guilt.  
  
"But you know that I would never do that again, right? Even I could, you know I wouldn't hurt her, right?" Spike smiled, "she brings out the best in me. Summers women tend to have that effect."  
  
"I know Spike," she told him as she placed her hand gently on his knee. She felt it again. That warmth that she felt in her; even with the slightest touch he could make her feel warm. She had the urge to pull back her hand, but decided against it. Buffy was ecstatic when he placed his hand on hers, causing the feeling to intensify, and she wanted him then more than ever. She was tempted to just jump on top of him and have sex with him right there on the porch; she decided against it however. She looked into his beautiful blue eyes for a moment and completely lost herself in him.  
  
Spike was looking back into Buffy's Hazel eyes completely in awe. He didn't want to move for fear that she might realize her hand was on his knee. He was so confused. Why did she have to be so fucking ambiguous? Was she trying to send him a signal or was she just feeling sorry for herself. He had decided a long time ago that he wasn't going to get in the type of relationship, if one could even call it a relationship, that he had with her before. The self-destructive type, it wasn't beneficial for either of them, except for the fact that the sex was amazing.  
  
Spike leaned in a little, testing the waters. He didn't want to go to far, and get his head kicked in. But Buffy didn't fight, she merely cocked her head to the side as if she was expecting it. He leaned in further and placed his mouth against hers, kissing her deeply without a fight. To his surprise, she kissed him back, with passion that she had never had before. She sat up and swung her leg over so that she was on his lap. Spike was ecstatic, but he didn't want to seem to eager. He pulled back from their kiss, and looked into her eyes sadly.  
  
"I'm sorry," he told her quietly as he shook his head, "I can't do this again."  
  
Buffy was speechless as he moved her aside, stood up and walked around to the front of the house.  
  
"Pillock," he muttered to himself before seeing Dawn sitting on the front stairs. She looked up at him and he could tell that she had been crying again.  
  
"And what's this, Slayer?" He asked her kindly as he walked over and sat next to the youngest Summers.  
  
She wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Nothing."  
  
"Buffy told me what happened."  
  
"Oh she did did she? I guess that makes it okay then? What a martyr, I bet SHE feels a lot better, good for her."  
  
"That doesn't make it okay Dawn. I'm not here to defend her, I'm just here."  
  
"Oh like you wouldn't take her side," Dawn mumbled.  
  
"Okay. You know what, if you're just gonna bitch at me then I'll just be leaving, alright?" Spike told her threateningly, beginning to get up from where he sat. Dawn quickly grabbed his arm.  
  
"Please don't go."  
  
Spike smiled and sat back down. "Do you want to talk about it then?"  
  
"I really don't. I've cried enough for an. ever. It just makes me so mad. Why would she do that?"  
  
"You don't know? She just randomly smack you?"  
  
"No. She was mad that I told her she doesn't like to hear the truth because she can't deal."  
  
Spike laughed. "Well that certainly in't a fallacy."  
  
It comforted Dawn to know that someone would be on her side. She looked at her feet, and decided to bring up a subject that she dreaded.  
  
"When are you leaving?"  
  
Spike sighed unnecessarily. "Tomorrow."  
  
Dawn jumped up. "What? Tomorrow? NO! You can't, it's too soon. I-it's, that there's not enough time."  
  
"Time for what love? Didn't realize that we had any plans."  
  
"I-I don't know, it's just, how can you leave me so soon?"  
  
"I'm not leaving forever, I'll be back."  
  
"You can't know that."  
  
"No, I can't."  
  
"Take me with you!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Take me with you, to the Delegation."  
  
"You know I can't do that, L'il Bit. Not only will they then kill Angel and me, but they'll kill you too. I can't put you that kind of danger."  
  
"I'm in danger all the time!"  
  
"Dawn, I won't let you."  
  
"What if I went undercover?"  
  
"Dawn, they'll know you aren't a vampire."  
  
"Then make me one!"  
  
"What!?"  
  
"Make me like you, then I could go!"  
  
"What, don't be stupid."  
  
"I'm serious!"  
  
"No you are not! Don't be an idiot! Now shut up and no more cheek from you, or else. or else I'll do something violent."  
  
Dawn's eyes narrowed. "I HATE YOU!" She shouted.  
  
" Well I hate you too! Okay?" Spike shouted.  
  
Dawn pulled back her fist and Spike knew what was coming. Like sister like sister, Dawn punched his jaw with force. She turned around and stormed back inside.  
  
"Well," Spike thought aloud, "that went better than I thought." 


	9. Not Goodbye

Angel walked downstairs to the lobby of the Hyperion and smile to Fred bouncing Connor on her knee and singing some nursery rhyme or another. He looked over to the front desk where Gunn, Wes and Cordy were eating what looked like wraps. Angel sighed heavily, thinking how everyday should end like this, happy. However, the feeling in the room was less than light; the sun was setting and Angel came to say his good-byes.  
  
Angel first walked over to the front desk where he saw a mug of blood that Cordy had prepared for him. He smiled his gratitude and drank it down, he figured he should eat before he left. His three friends walked around and each said their farewells. He hugged them each and they told him encouraging words that he tried to take heed of.  
  
He turned around to see Lorne walking into the lobby of the hotel from the entrance to Caritas. Lorne had decided to rebuild it there when they discovered an empty club in the hotel about a year before. That way, he could not only run his club, but also continue living in the hotel and helping to take care of Connor.  
  
Angel walked over to Lorne and embraced him tightly. The Host pulled back and looked Angel in the face.  
  
"You take care of yourself, okay."  
  
Angel nodded sadly and moved on. Fred put the baby down for a moment and walked over to Angel and hugged him like the rest had. She giggled quietly.  
  
"What?" Angel asked.  
  
"You're my night in shining armor. A handsome man who came and rescued me from the monsters."  
  
"It's what I do best."  
  
Angel released Fred and turned to what would be his most difficult goodbye. He knelt down and motioned to his son to come to him. Connor toddled over and held out a toy truck to Angel.  
  
"No, sweetie. Daddy can't play now. Daddy has to go for a few days."  
  
Connors eyes lit up as he held his arms out for Angel to pick him up. "Out!"  
  
"No Connor. You can't come with daddy. You are going to stay here with Fred and Lorne, and Cordy, Gunn, and Wesley will be here a lot too, okay?"  
  
"Weswey!" Connor shouted excitedly.  
  
Angel laughed and he picked up his son and held him close. Connor snuggled in to his daddy and closed his eyes.  
  
"I love you, dada," he told his father.  
  
Angel's eyes filled with tears. "I love you too, Connor. I love you so much." He kissed his son's forehead and handed him to Wesley.  
  
Connor looked confused. "Weswey, out wiv dada!"  
  
"No, Connor, you have to stay here with us."  
  
Connor started to cry, but Angel knew he couldn't delay. He walked out of the hotel, his back to the crying of his son and the comforting coos of the rest of his family.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Spike took a moment to really look at his crypt, possibly for the last time. After his breakup with Dru, he had decided never to become attached to anything again, but it was too late. He had come to know that crypt as his home. From his late night romps with Buffy to comforting the Nibblet after Buffy's death, all of his memories would be cherished in a heart- shaped box, even if that box was unbeating.  
  
He sighed and turned to Clem, who was looking at him sadly.  
  
"Oh, don't get all soppy on me now, mate," Spike told him, not wanting to admit to himself that he would even miss Clem.  
  
"Sorry, it's just, be careful, okay."  
  
"Will do."  
  
"Good luck."  
  
Spike nodded his response and walked from his crypt.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Spike walked up the stairs of the Summers' house and lifted his hand to knock on the door. He knocked three times and almost immediately the blonde wicca opened the door.  
  
"You been standing there all night, Glinda?" Spike asked Tara light- heartedly.  
  
Tara smiled and opened the door wider. "Hello Spike."  
  
Spike nodded politely and stepped inside. He walked in to the living room to see the Scooby gang fully assembled; even the watcher was there.  
  
"Are you lot moving in here or something?" Spike asked flippantly.  
  
Giles stood up and walked over to Spike. "May I have a word with you?"  
  
"For what, a little British solidarity?"  
  
Giles rolled his eyes. "Precisely," he said sarcastically, motioning toward the kitchen. Spike followed obediently, figuring he had nothing to lose. As he entered, he saw that it was a quarter to ten, the great poof was late, but Spike didn't mind.  
  
"So, what's up, Rupes?"  
  
"I don't want to, um, invade your privacy-"  
  
"Hm, that's a first," Spike laughed, but Giles gave him a look that told him that he was being serious, so Spike decided he'd better bite his tongue.  
  
"Anyway, I understand that you and Dawn are allowed to have a private relationship and I have been very respectful of that but I must ask, what happened between you and her yesterday?"  
  
Spike took a minute to think of what he was talking about. "Do you mean, when she fell asleep at my crypt?"  
  
"No, I mean last night, when you came over. I know I wasn't here but none of the others know what went on."  
  
"Why don't you ask Dawn then?"  
  
"Because since last night she has locked herself in her room and only came out twice for food. She has refused to train or talk to anyone, especially not Buffy. We've all tried to get her to talk but she's really upset about something."  
  
Spike thought to the conversation he had with Dawn the night before. "I told her I hated her."  
  
"What?" Giles asked confused and a little shocked. "You don't though. Why would you say that?"  
  
"She was mad that I told her that she couldn't come with me to the Delegation, she told me she hated me and so I told her I hated her too. I thought, at the time, that it might make it easier on her if she was mad at me when I left."  
  
"Well, it has only upset her greatly, and now she won't talk to anyone."  
  
"Well, it's not the only reason I'm sure."  
  
"What? Why else then?"  
  
"You're gonna have to talk to Buffy about that, mate."  
  
Giles just put on a puzzled face, shrugged his shoulders and walked from the kitchen. Spike pulled out a cigarette, lit it and inhaled deeply. Spike was enjoying the feeling of the smoke and chemicals burn his throat and lungs when the cigarette was pulled violently from his mouth. He opened his eyes quickly to see Buffy putting out the cigarette in the sink.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Hey yourself! Don't smoke in my house," she told him coldly. Spike knew why she was acting like this too him, and he figured he deserved it.  
  
"Look, Buffy, about last night-"  
  
"Don't apologize, Spike," She interrupted him, "I thought it was what you wanted."  
  
Spike walked over to Buffy. "Of course it's what I wanted, I always want you Buffy, that wasn't the issue."  
  
"Then what was? You said you couldn't be with me again."  
  
"That's not what I said."  
  
"You said that you couldn't do this again, you were pretty clear about how you felt."  
  
"I just meant that I can't take being used again, Buffy. You had said it yourself that you had been using me last time, why should I think this time would be any different? Or or or you'd kiss me last night and then deny anything had ever happened. Bloody hell Buffy, you may not realize but I have feelings too and it hurt to be with you sometimes. You think I didn't know that you hated coming to me. We would be. and I could see it in your eyes, I could see how much it hurt you to lower yourself to be with an evil, soulless thing like me. But I loved you so much I didn't even care. I love you so bloody much that whether or not you wanted to be with me, having you, holding you, it was the greatest thing ever to happen to me."  
  
Buffy was silent. She had no idea what to say to that. She wanted to tell him how she felt. She knew she should just do it, but every time she mustered the courage, she just couldn't.  
  
"I just don't know what they would think of me, what they would say."  
  
"So that's all, it's about your precious image. Well I wouldn't want to damage that, bloody no, it's all about what your sodding friends think of you then. That's fine, but this is what I mean, I won't do it this time. If you want to be with me, I don't want you to hide it."  
  
"But maybe if we could just start again, and wait a little while-"  
  
"No," Spike told her coolly, and he walked out of the kitchen. He walked toward the front door, planning to walk outside and just wait there, when the doorbell rang. Spike apprehensively leaned forward and opened the door. Angel stood there like a wall; his face was expressionless. Spike didn't mind, but he stepped aside and allowed Angel to walk in.  
  
Angel came in and looked at the people who used to be his friends. He barely recognized Anya and had never met Tara. He greeted everyone warmly and they all returned the gesture. Willow introduced him to Tara, and he told Willow how happy he was for her. He turned around to see Buffy walking in; she looked sad and tired.  
  
'But god,' he thought to himself, 'she looks just as beautiful as ever.'  
  
He walked over to her and they hugged awkwardly. After they made small talk for a minute, his attention was turned to pretty girl descending the stairs. He recognized her immediately, but took notice of what a beautiful young lady she had become. She finally grew into her arms and legs, and her long brunette hair complemented her features. She had become more muscular since the last time he had seen her, but he figured that that was due to her becoming the slayer.  
  
"Hello Dawn. You really grew up since the last time I saw you."  
  
She smiled and sat down on the stairs. "Thanks."  
  
Angel nodded, realizing that something was obviously wrong, but he didn't want to pry. He wasn't there on a social call, he knew what he came for and he wanted to leave as soon as possible.  
  
"We better get going," he said to Spike. Spike nodded in reply at looked at the people he had grown to consider his friends, some of them anyway.  
  
Tara and Willow both stood and hugged him goodbye, telling him good luck and goodbye. Even Anya hugged him, which got her a nasty look from her husband. However, Xander was polite enough to say goodbye nicely, he knew how much he meant to Dawn and didn't want to start something. Giles shook his hand but didn't say anything, that was there moment of British solidarity.  
  
Spike smiled at them all and turned sadly to Buffy. She looked at the floor and he just shook his head.  
  
"Goodbye, Slayer. Bitty slayer." Dawn narrowed her eyes at his farewell. She was disappointed, figuring he'd give her more than just saying one of his nicknames for her. Spike began to walk out the door when his motion was interrupted by Buffy's voice.  
  
"Spike, wait."  
  
He turned around and she threw her arms around his neck. She figured that it was now or never, and she definitely didn't want to opt for never. She was glad when she felt Spike place his hands on her back and hug her tightly. She pulled her head from his shoulder and kissed Spike passionately. When she finished she looked into his deep blue eyes and could feel him looking into her hazel ones.  
  
"I don't care. who knows," she told him honestly for once. "Spike, I lo-"  
  
"Don't!" He stopped her mid-sentence. "Tell me when I come back."  
  
Buffy smiled and nodded, holding back the tears that were waiting to be shed. "I'll be waiting," she whispered to him. He nodded, released her, and walked out the front door.  
  
Spike was about halfway across the front lawn to his grandsire's car when he felt a strong jerk on his left arm. He swung around to see a crying Dawn holding on for dear life.  
  
"Please don't go," she begged him, tightening her grip. "Please don't leave."  
  
Spike looked behind her to see everyone but Buffy watching the scene.  
  
"No need to make a scene, love," he cooed softly, smiling as comfortingly as he could. "You know I have to go."  
  
She dropped his arm, and continued to cry. "I don't hate you, Spike. I'm so sorry. I didn't-"  
  
Spike interrupted her by pulling her into a tight hug and kissing her on the forehead. "I know sweet bit, don't be sorry."  
  
She hugged him tightly as she sobbed into his chest. "Everyone is always leaving me, Spike. I can't lose you too."  
  
"Your not losing me, Dawn. I'll be back," he told her confidently.  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
He released her from their hug and put her head in his hands. "Because I have something to come back for." He kissed her on the forehead and walked into the car. Angel got in the driver's seat and put the key in the ignition. Silence was all they shared for about five minutes before Spike finally spoke.  
  
"So. was it that hard for you?" 


	10. Are We There Yet?

"Are you sure you know where you're going?" Spike asked for what seemed like the hundredth time to Angel.  
  
"Yes!" Angel relied forcefully. They had been driving through California desert for almost an hour and Spike was getting antsy.  
  
Spike nodded nervously and began tapping his fingers on the windowsill and bouncing his head to a song that only he could hear. Angel could tell that Spike was nervous, this is exactly how he acted one hundred years ago when he was nervous, except the song he was bouncing his head to was probably rock, not classical.  
  
Spike pulled out a cigarette. "You mind of I smoke?"  
  
"Go ahead, if it'll get you to calm down. You know, you're going to have to pull yourself together when we get there."  
  
Spike nodded and took a deep, unnecessary breath before lighting the cigarette. Angel was being driven crazy by the silence so he decided to make small talk.  
  
"You and Dawn, you've gotten pretty close, huh?"  
  
"Yeah," Spike smiled at the though of his Nibblet. "She's a great girl. Really bright you know? And strong as all hell."  
  
"Mm hm, I never got to know her that well."  
  
"That's too bad. She really is a great kid."  
  
"So I've been told," Angel laughed. "She's really grown up since the last time I saw her."  
  
"Well, technically, that was the first time you saw her."  
  
Angel looked puzzled but then realized what Spike meant. "Oh, right, I always forget about that."  
  
Spike laughed uncomfortably and took a drag of his cigarette and looked at Angel quizzically. It bothered Angel more than he would have liked. Finally, Spike spoke.  
  
"What?" Angel asked, annoyance apparent in his tone.  
  
"How old is the baby?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"How old is your son?" Spike asked plainly.  
  
"Um, eighteen months. Why are you asking this?"  
  
"Just curious. I mean, I guess we're sort of related you know."  
  
"Yes, you can be the cool uncle who gets him into drugs and punk and crime," Angel said sarcastically.  
  
"Sounds like a plan," the bleached vampire retorted. And he laughed. There was actual laughter between the two, which coincidentally, caused Angel to laugh. And for the first time in over one hundred years, things were pleasant between the two. Spike stopped and suddenly became very serious, but still didn't say anything  
  
"What's wrong with you?" Angel asked.  
  
"I'm just a little confused." Spike confessed.  
  
"About what?"  
  
"About why you aren't kicking my arse right now."  
  
"What? For what?"  
  
"For macking with your girl back there."  
  
"Oh." Angel trailed off, he wasn't really sure why he wasn't completely enraged by the fact that Spike, SPIKE was kissing the woman he loved. "Maybe I finally got over her." No, that couldn't be it.  
  
"Don't give me that crap, Angelus, I know you better than you think. Why is it really not bothering you? Or is it that it is bothering you, and you're gonna take it out on me later? Or is it-"  
  
"Spike! Shut up! God, just stop talking. I don't know why I'm not freaking out but I'm not okay? Don't try your luck!"  
  
Spike backed down and actually looked a little hurt. He rolled his eyes and took another puff of his cigarette. Angel looked and his grandchilde and figured that if he migth die anyway, he could have some fun prying a little.  
  
"What's wrong now?"  
  
"Nothing. Get off my damn back you pillock."  
  
"Why are you always so angry with me? Even when I was evil again you hated me."  
  
"Well, maybe it could have something to do with you torturing me by fooling around with the love of my unlife."  
  
"No. This goes beyond Dru. You were pretty much mad at me since you first saw me at the school. You were mad that I had a soul."  
  
"Yeah, so, it's not like I really cared," Spike lied.  
  
"Why did you call me your sire?"  
  
"Why do you insist on asking these stupid questions?"  
  
"Because I want to know!" Angel told him forcefully.  
  
"Well I want to you to go fuck yourself violently at noon in a jacuzzi of holy water so neither of us are getting what we want."  
  
"I just want closure with you, Spike. You've obviously changed since the last time I saw you and all I want is closure."  
  
"YOU DON'T DESERVE CLOSURE! YOU LEFT!"  
  
Angel jammed on the brake and put the car in park. "Is that what this is about? Me leaving?"  
  
"ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" Spike shouted angrily. He opened his car door and stepped out. Angel followed.  
  
"Spike, stop!"  
  
Spike turned around, walked over to Angel and punched him. Angel stumbled backward but continued to stand his ground. He regained his balance and walked over to Spike, grabbed him shoulder causing him to turn around and he punched him across the face.  
  
"Why are you doing this Spike?"  
  
"Why are you? Is this some redemption thing? Are you trying to save me? Shall we join each other in confession? OR have you been missing a few Sundays?"  
  
Angel punched Spike again. "Why can't you just talk to me normally, like a person with some shred dignity? You're acting like a child."  
  
"Sod off!" Spike shouted.  
  
"Why are you so angry for me leaving, hm? I though you hated me."  
  
Spike growled. "Because you WERE like my sire, man. YOU were the one who turned poncy William into Spike. You were like my brother, maybe my father, I haven't really decided. But you were there and then you were gone, I looked up to you. How could be so thick as not to see that?"  
  
Angel was speechless. He was so shocked by Spike's words that he didn't even have the strength to hit him again.  
  
"But, I really thought you hated me. I mean, you did a really good job of covering up the fact that I didn't."  
  
"I did. Just 'cause I looked up to you doesn't mean I didn't hate you. I mean, I guess it was more envy than anything else."  
  
"Envy?"  
  
"I knew, I always knew that Dru would never love me the way she loved you. You were her sire, I couldn't come between that."  
  
"But the was she looked at you. when Darla and I couldn't stand you she was completely enamored."  
  
"That never mattered. Even after you left, she would call out your name sometimes and I HATED you."  
  
"She loved you you know."  
  
"I don't."  
  
"You should."  
  
Spike shuffled his feet. He knew that if his blood circulated, his face would be a bright red. He couldn't stand talking to Angel like this, all that mamby-pamby crap. Spike looked up.  
  
"Love isn't a competiton, I don't know why you make it out to be."  
  
Spike hated it when Angel was right. But he always did feel like he was competing with Angel for something. Power, Dru, Buffy, whatever it was he always felt like Angel had it more.  
  
"Can we just go?" Spike asked, sadness apparent in his voice.  
  
"Now? We were just coming to a breakthrough," Angel replied jokingly.  
  
Spike walked toward the car. "I don't want to talk, let's just go."  
  
Angel nodded and walked over to the car. He got in and started the ignition. He was afraid that there would be awkward silence, but leave it to Spike to open his mouth.  
  
"I really do you hate you you know."  
  
"I don't doubt it." 


	11. Old Acquaintances

They rode in silence until they reached a fleabag motel somewhere between Sunnydale and the remote location where the Delegation would be held. When they entered they discovered that there was only one room left which they would have to share. To make it even worse, there was only one bed. But they would have to take it, since it was about half an hour till sunrise.  
  
After entering the room, still neither of them spoke until finally Angel broke the silence.  
  
"You can have the bed."  
  
"Nah, it's okay. I can sleep in the tub, it's not like I haven't before," Spike laughed at the memory or being chained in Giles' tub. "Besides, you don't need to be all chivalrous with me. It is me, you remember."  
  
Angel nodded. "Fine, I'll take the bed then," he said, falling onto the sheets. Spike nodded back at him and walked into the bathroom. Angel was shocked and thought Spike was actually going to sleep in the bathtub, until he heard the shower running. Angel laughed at himself and drifted off to sleep.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
They left as soon as the sun set. Angel had told Spike that they would be expected that night, and they were less than four hours from their destination. They rode in silence, which wasn't any different from the previous parts of the day.  
  
When Angel started driving off the road into the middle of a desert, Spike knew that they were close. He didn't understand why Angel knew so much about this and he was so out of the loop, but he decided not to let it bother him, since he wouldn't have to deal with his grandsire for much longer. He thought he would say something though, just to be annoying when a new and frightening thought came to his mind.  
  
"Do you think Dru will be there?"  
  
Angel shook his head. "I don't know."  
  
"She won't be happy to see me I'd wager. I mean, last time I saw her I shocked her with a cattle prod and held a stake to her heart."  
  
"Last time I saw her, I set her on fire."  
  
Spike laughed. "Yeah, she told me about that. When Darla was alive again. She said she wanted to become a family again. I chose Buffy over her. Sometimes I wonder if I made the wrong choice. Whether I should have gone with Dru."  
  
"I used to think that, about sleeping with Darla that night. But it wasn't a mistake. In the end, the greatest thing in my life came out of it, so, no regrets."  
  
"I'm sorry by the way, about Darla."  
  
Angel was shocked, he looked to Spike and back to the path he was driving. Spike was just full of suprises.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"I know we never got along, Darla and me, but I always had the utmost respect for her."  
  
"I know."  
  
Spike nodded and sat quietly for the rest of the ride, all fifteen minutes of it. It was pretty obvious when they were there, due to the large abandoned factory that was completely lit up. There were cars and people (well, not people) everywhere, not to mention all you can eat vampire buffets.  
  
"They really went all out, mate."  
  
"I'm not surprised. The master was always one for luxery, even if it was in an eighteenth century sewer he liked it nice."  
  
Spike laughed. "Well it's damn convenient, you see how they have those people hooked up to little tubes? If it's not me killing them then..." Angel shot Spike a nasty look. "I mean, it's terrible what they're doing to those poor people."  
  
Angel nodded his approval. However, he didn't doubt that Spike would take a drink. Whether or not he would was also questionable.  
  
"Let's do this then," Spike said, nodding toward the building.  
  
Angel agreed and they stepped out of the car, vampire guise on. Spike smiled wickedly as he saw some other vampires share whispers at Angel and his arrival.  
  
'This is how it should be,' he though. 'I should be revered.'  
  
He walked into the crowd and nodded at a few vampires he thought he recognized. He didn't care whether or not he knew them though, because he was sure that they knew who he was, and that was all that mattered. He had entire books written on him, they bloody well better have known who he was.  
  
He continued hi path to the table where wine glassed full of rich warm blood were placed neatly on the table. He picked one up and let the thick liquid pass over his tongue.  
  
'Just as I remember it.'  
  
He was about to take another drink when he got interrupted by that tingling feeling at the tip of his tailbone. It was the feeling he always got when she was near. He placed the glass down on the table and followed his senses through the crowd, and though his better half told him not to, he found Drusilla.  
  
His face softened at the sight of her, as it always had before. His human face came back on and he spoke to her.  
  
"Hello Dru."  
  
She turned around swiftly, her flowing raven hair bouncing behind her. She cocked her head when she saw him, and her eyes became sad. It killed Spike to see her looking like that, for though he would never admit it, a little piece of him was always still madly in love with her.  
  
Drusilla turned back around and walked from him. She didn't even say a word to Spike. He wasn't surprised, but it wasn't often that she had nothing to say. So again, he followed her through the crowd.  
  
"Dru! Wait!" He called after her, hoping that she might stop, and she did.  
  
"You're rotten! All covered in filth," she told him turning around.  
  
"Dru, I'm sorry but-"  
  
"Liar!" She shouted and she punched him across the face and ran into the crowd. Spike staggered, she may look small but she was strong. He shook his head and wiped the blood from his nose.  
  
"Everyone is always hitting me," he said to himself. "When did I become the bloody punching bag?"  
  
Just as he was about to walk back over to the drink table, he saw everyone entering the factory.  
  
"So," he smiled to himself nervously, "it has begun." 


	12. Big Girls Don't Cry

Dawn plunged her stake into the vampire on her right; she turned swiftly and staked his companion on her left.  
  
"See," she told herself. "I'm good."  
  
She continued her warpath through the cemetery, taking out her frustration and anger on every unsuspecting vampire she could find. She was pissed, and by the end of the night, she wanted the whole underworld to know it.  
  
She came across a nest in a crypt not far from Spike's. She barged in, totally forgetting the meaning of the word precaution. She wanted to kick ass, and so she would.  
  
"Slayer!" One of the bigger vamps called out threateningly.  
  
"The one and only... well, not quite. But I didn't come for small talk," she told him. She ran at him and before he knew it a stake was plunged into his chest. The other three vampires attacked after seeing what Dawn assumed was they're leader be killed.  
  
She pulled out her crossbow that hung on her back and shot the arrow through one of the vamps heart. She smiled wickedly, enjoying this more than maybe she should.  
  
"Two down."  
  
The others continued to charge the young slayer, but she was too quick. She grabbed a large knife from a table in the crypt and ran to one of the vamps. He swung clumsily at her and she cut off his head without effort. The last vampire looked at her with seething hatred.  
  
"You think you can take me?" He asked warningly, daring her to attack.  
  
"Well, if you're as big of a loser as your friends, then yeah, I think I can try." She charged him and he attacked back with equal force. She held out her arm so that he ran right into it and fell onto his back. She turned around and straddled his stomach.  
  
"You" punch "stupid" punch "son of a BITCH!" She yelled at him. She hit him continuously and yelled at him until his face was nothing more than cuts and bruises. She stopped for a moment, giving him a chance to spit out the teeth that she had knocked from his mouth. Once he did, he looked back up at her expectantly, begging her to just finish him with his eyes. She complied and put him out of his misery.  
  
Dawn got up and felt the burning at the back of her throat. The tears began to well up in her eyes.  
  
'No!' She told herself silently. 'No more crying, not over him.'  
  
She proceeded to walk to the door and before she knew it, she was standing outside Spike's door. She put her hand up to the door hesitantly and pushed it open. The TV was on, but she knew that it wasn't Spike who was home.  
  
"Hello Clem."  
  
The demon turned where he sat in Spike's chair. "Oh! Hey Dawn! I uh, I wasn't expecting company. But uh- please sit down," he told her, standing politely.  
  
"That's okay."  
  
Clem looked around uncomfortably. "Is there something you want?"  
  
Dawn rubber her arms. "I kind of came here to cry but I should have known that you would be here."  
  
"Oh, um, sorry."  
  
Dawn merely laughed. She wasn't sure what to say. She had always liked Clem, but they weren't exactly friends.  
  
"I'd better go."  
  
"You don't have, it's okay... really! We could uh, watch some TV or something."  
  
"NO really, I should probably go home."  
  
Clem nodded kindly and Dawn walked back toward the door.  
  
"He'll be back you know," Clem told the Slayer in an attempt to comfort. "He'll be okay."  
  
Dawn turned around, her hand still placed firmly on the door. She smiled warmly. "Thanks." 


	13. After Party

Spike sat down in a rather expensive-looking leather chair that had a little white card with his name written in calligraphy on it. Angel's seat was next to his and Dru was placed directly across from him. Though it appeared as though his relationship with the slayers was unknown, his breakup with his sire was.  
  
When Angel sat down beside him, Spike laughed and Angel gave him a questioning look.  
  
"It's so fancy," Spike mumbled to Angel. "You'd think we were at a wedding or something."  
  
Angel just rolled his eyes and took in his surroundings. The long table at which he sat was not for just anyone; barely a third of the people at the Delegation were seated there. He supposed it was meant to be for the older and more important vampires. He looked at those who were still standing and could tell that they were all much younger than he was.  
  
Angel turned back to Spike and was about to say something when his eyes locked with Drusilla's. He hadn't seen her before then, and Spike hadn't mentioned that she was there if he knew. He made a lame attempt to focus on something other than her, but even then, she was completely captivating.  
  
His favorite childe. He always had affection for Drusilla; even with a soul he felt a desperate need to protect her. She was his blood, she was his family, and he loved her.  
  
His attention was abruptly turned to the booming voice of a vampire standing at the head of the table. He looked old, not quite as old as the master, he still had his human guise but still, his aura felt old.  
  
"Welcome, welcome, welcome!" He spoke with a heavy upper class English accent. "I'm surprised we had such a turn up. I'd love to make small talk but I'm afraid we must get down to business. Allow me to say welcome again to the Delegation of the Order of Aurelius."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Spike nervously lit a cigarette as he leaned against Angel's car. His hand shook so violently he almost wasn't able to light his lighter. "Is that it?"  
  
Angel turned to him. "What were you expecting?"  
  
"I was expecting them to kill us."  
  
"Well, we were lucky."  
  
"No, there must be something else. Maybe they're gonna do it now. Maybe they were just waiting to-"  
  
"Spike!" Angel shouted, interrupting his banter. "We made it. Just be happy that we made it, okay."  
  
Spike nodded and began to study his cigarette while Angel slipped into deep thought. Spike was right in a way; he was surprised at the lack of well, action at the meeting. He thought there would be major decisions and democratic votes or something but no... just pointless banter and a lecture from a five hundred year old vamp name Demitri. Basically the meeting was called to assess the situation and current population of the Order. No new master was called due to the serious depletion of numbers since Spike came to Sunnydale and Angel temporarily reverted to his more evil self, Angelus. Angel continued to make sense of what just happened when his thoughts were once again interrupted. This time, however, it was the sing song voice of his most important childe.  
  
"Angelus," Drusilla laughed half-heartedly. "How I'd only dreamed you'd come."  
  
"Hey Dru. Long time no see. Sorry about setting you on fire," he told her nonchalantly.  
  
"That's okay. You were being a bad daddy. But then again, you were always quite naughty." She smiled wickedly and turned her attention to Spike who was pointedly looking at the ground. He was obviously not very eager to have anymore interaction with his sire.  
  
Drusilla walked toward her childe and ex-lover, a pained expression on her face. "But you've been worse," she told him angrily, as if she hadn't made her point before. "You ripped out my heart and ate it for supper. Was it good for you Spike? Was it any good? Was it worth breaking such a precious thing?"  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"BUT YOU LIE!" She shouted angrily. "You said you could push her away but you lied. I though you said you loved me."  
  
"Oh because this is all about you then in't it? It always has been. I loved you with every part of my being but you never cared about me! It was always about HIM!" He yelled pointing at Angel who backed out the way not wanting to get involved.  
  
"You always wanted him more than me. You always loved him more than me."  
  
"But that is a fallacy to say the least. I did, I loved you my William. And I wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on you."  
  
Spike was shocked. He was actually speechless. That was the first time EVER that she had told him that she loved him. She had shown him, given him little times, but she had never just simply said it, and Spike was shocked.  
  
"But not as much," he told her sadly.  
  
"Just not the same."  
  
Spike looked up into her beautiful eyes and sighed before looking back down at the ground.  
  
"So come with me my knight, come we me and we can start again," she told him softly, extending her hand for him to take.  
  
Spike stared at her fingers for what felt like an eternity, not sure of what to do. He was being offered a chance of a lifetime. Dru was offering to take him back, again. But he thought of what he would lose if he went with her. Buffy and Dawn. They were his life now, not Drusilla. She left him; he didn't owe her anything anymore.  
  
"I can't do that, Dru."  
  
Drusilla looked like she had been staked. Her eyes widened and flared yellow and before Spike knew what had hit him she was in vampire guise and attacking him viciously. She pounced on him like a cat, the way her movements were always cat-like.  
  
"I MADE YOU!" She screamed angrily at him as she fell on top of him. She scratched his face laving three long marks on his left cheek. She pulled her arm back to punch him but he kicked her off of him. She stood up and swayed a bit before running back at him. Before she could attack Angel threw Spike a stake and grabbed Drusilla by the shoulders.  
  
"Do it!" He yelled at the bleached vampire. Spike ran toward the both of them and held the stake high in the air. He was about to plunge into his sire's heart when he froze. He knew in his head what he had to do but he couldn't make his arm move.  
  
"Stake her!" Angel yelled again. But before he could respond, Drusilla kicked his shin and elbowed him in the face, causing him to release her. When he stood back up he walked over to Spike and shook him, causing his grip to loosen from the stake. He had been holding it so tight that his knuckles became whiter that usual.  
  
"What's wrong with you Spike?"  
  
Spike looked up at Angel, his deep blue eyes wide with contemplation. "I just couldn't." 


	14. Home Sweet Home

There was more silence. There was always silence at first between the two vampires. But it was merely a matter of time until one broke the silence. It was Spike's turn.  
  
"How?"  
  
Angel turned to him, willing himself to reply to the question. "How what?"  
  
"How did you kill her? Darla I mean. How could you kill your sire?"  
  
Angel sighed, he had been waiting for this question to come. "It was the hardest thing I ever did in my entire existence."  
  
Spike nodded and lowered it voice to a guttural tone. "You were a fool."  
  
"I was in love."  
  
Spike looked up. "But she was your sire! How could you just turn your back on that?"  
  
"It was for Buffy; I told you."  
  
"It was wrong."  
  
Angel raised his voice. "I did what I had to do! You think it doesn't kill me to know what I did? But I loved Buffy, and I still do and I did what I had to do to protect her."  
  
Spike was about to retort but he decided to bite his tongue. He didn't want to piss Angel off into throwing him into daylight. He muttered what sounded like an apology. Angel disregarded it and continued to drive. They had been driving for hours already and it wouldn't be long till they reached Sunnydale.  
  
"Do you love her?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I mean really love her?"  
  
Spike looked up at his grandsire, apprehensive of what he was getting at. "I would do anything for her."  
  
Angel smiled as an idea came to his head. "Then come with me to LA."  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"I can't tell you why because otherwise you won't come."  
  
Spike grunted irritably, and nodded. "LA hasn't treated me too well you know."  
  
"Well, this time you aren't going to torture me for a piece of jewelry."  
  
Spike choked an uncomfortable laugh. "Oh yeah. What did you do with the gem anyway."  
  
"I destroyed it," Angel told him flatly.  
  
Spikes eyes widened immensely. "You really are a ponce. You realize that don't you?"  
  
Angel smiled. "So I've been told."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Angel pulled up the driveway of the Hyperion and put his car in park.  
  
"Home sweet home," he sighed, more than happy to see the familiar hotel.  
  
"Wow, this is... big."  
  
"Yep, but it'll do. Come on."  
  
Spike followed his grandsire in through the large front doors of the hotel. He took note of the beautiful garden in front and the magnificence of it all.  
  
"You were always one for luxury then, weren't you mate?"  
  
"Always." They continued their way through the lobby toward the front desk. NO one was around and Spike wondered if that was unusual at three- thirty in the morning. He walked around the back of the desk while Angel was looking for his friends. He saw an office and a pile of books on the desk. He picked one up and looked at the cover, which read: "William the Bloody." Spike laughed and opened the book, flipping through the pages.  
  
"What was I thinking," he muttered to himself. He was interrupted by the creaking of floorboards and whizzing of an arrow by his head. He turned quickly to see Cordelia holding a crossbow and reloading it quickly.  
  
"Cordelia! Wait!" He protested.  
  
"Shut up!" She warned him. "Where's Angel?"  
  
"I don't know. Looking for you lot I reckon."  
  
Cordelia narrowed her eyes. "You're here with him?"  
  
"Yeah. He told me he wanted to take me to LA for something. He wouldn't tell me what. And I can't hurt you anyway. You have heard about the chip, haven't you?"  
  
Cordelia nodded nervously and lowered the crossbow. "If you try anything you'll be blowing in the wind before you can say 'stake', you got me?"  
  
"Loud and clear," he replied. He was about to say something about her hair or weight or something but decided against it, seeing as how Angel was walking into the room. "Well, if it isn't the man of the hour."  
  
Cordelia whirled around and upon seeing Angel she threw her arms around his neck. "Oh god, Angel! We were so worried."  
  
Angel reciprocated the hug and told her how happy he was to see her. They released each other and just stood for a moment.  
  
"Was everything okay while I was gone?"  
  
"Yeah. Connor's fine."  
  
"That's good. And the others?"  
  
"Everyone's fine, Angel. You were only gone for four days."  
  
Angel nodded and looked at Spike who looked embarrassed, maybe even humble. Angel was unsure of what to say, so he didn't say anything.  
  
"Is anyone else here?" He asked Cordelia.  
  
"Yeah, Lorne is in the Caritas and Fred and Gunn are upstairs."  
  
"Wes?"  
  
"He doing some recon."  
  
"By himself?" Angel asked worriedly.  
  
"It's nothing, not a big case. Don't worry, he'll-"  
  
As if on cue, the front doors opened and Angel, Cordelia and Spike went to see who it was. Angel was pleased to see who was walking in.  
  
"Hey Wes."  
  
"Angel! So glad to see you're alright!" He told his friend excitedly.  
  
"It's good to see you to Wes."  
  
The British man looked from Angel to the bleached vampire. "Spike, I presume."  
  
Spike shifted uncomfortably and nodded. "We- uh- haven't met have we?"  
  
"No, not as of late," Wesley told rather uneasily. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I brought him Wes. Don't start anything," Angel told him warningly.  
  
"Alright."  
  
"Hey what's the- Angel?" Fred called as she was descending the stairs. "Oh my god! You're back!" She ran to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.  
  
"Hey Fred," he said to her quietly.  
  
"Hey!" Gunn called out from the top of the stairs, a squirming baby in his arms. "You guys woke the... Angel? My man!" He said excitedly as he walked down the stairs. "So you got us all worried for nothing."  
  
Angel smiled warmly but couldn't take his eyes off his wriggling son. He extended his arms and Gunn handed Connor to his father.  
  
"Hey Connor."  
  
Connor giggled tiredly. "Dada!"  
  
"I'm back, honey. Daddy's all finished with his business. Did you have a nice time while I was away?"  
  
Connor just smiled at his father in response and wiggled out of his arms. He toddled around on the ground for a moment before walking over to Spike. Spike wasn't sure what to do with the very young child that was standing before him, looking at him thoughtfully, so he kneeled down and spoke to him.  
  
"Hey Connor," he said to him softly. At eye level, he could fully see the features of the baby. "He looks like her," Spike absentmindedly told Angel.  
  
Connor laughed again at grabbed Spike's hair. "Hee hee! Hair!"  
  
"Ow!" Spike groaned at the tugging. He pulled the fingers from his hair and held the small hands in his own. "Careful there bite-sized, you gotta be gentle with old Spike."  
  
Connor looked perplexed. "Hmm... Spike?"  
  
"Yeah, that's me. Spike."  
  
Connor smiled and held him arms out for Spike to pick him up. "Up! Up up up!"  
  
"I don't know if that's such a good idea."  
  
"Oh go on," Angel told his grandchilde. "What are you afraid of?"  
  
Spike shrugged and picked up the child who felt warm in his cold arms. He smiled endearingly at the child, feeling a certain bond with the baby which in a way, was his blood.  
  
Angel looked at Spike holding his son and he sighed unnecessarily. He the sight of Spike with the baby was one he never thought he'd see.  
  
'Maybe he really has changed.'  
  
"Spike," Angel called, interrupting the blonde's fun. "We've got to do the thing."  
  
Spike looked confused. "What thing?"  
  
"Yeah Angel," Cordy interrupted. "What thing?"  
  
'I'm taking him to Caritas,' Angel mouthed to her. She nodded understandingly and choked back a laugh at the thought.  
  
"We've got to go now," Angel told him. Fred walked over and took the baby from Spike's arms; she blushed when their hands met. She turned and hurried away, taking Connor upstairs to his room.  
  
"Let's go then."  
  
"Okay," Angel nodded at him. He smiled at his friends and turned to lead Spike Caritas. The entered the club from the back door and it was still packed full of demons and people alike.  
  
"What is this?" Spike asked, enchanted by the look of the place.  
  
"This is Caritas, a self-proclaimed sanctuary." Angel looked around for Lorne who was probably off somewhere talking to someone he had read. He was about to lead Spike over to the bar when he saw the Host who obviously saw him.  
  
"Angel! Bubbulah! How was the trip?" He asked energetically.  
  
Angel smiled warmly. "It was... interesting."  
  
"Uh-huh. And who's your friend?"  
  
"This is Spike. I want you to read him."  
  
Lorne nodded. "Does he know what he has to do?"  
  
"No," Spike answered. "What exactly do I have to do?"  
  
"Well sugar cakes, it's very simple. You've done kareoke haven't you?" 


	15. Come As You Are

"Whoa!" Spike protested, putting his hands up defensively. "I don't sing."  
  
Angel cocked his head mockingly. "Oh come now, we know that isn't true."  
  
"That was a LONG time ago... and I was drunk."  
  
"Spike," Angel sighed, annoyance apparent in his tone. "Just do it, it's the only way you can be read. Hey, I did it. I sang Barry Manilow to save a life. So just do it!"  
  
Spike shuffled his feet nervously, he knew he was going to end up doing it one way or another, Angel would see to that. He figured that resistance was futile. He nodded his head reluctantly and followed Lorne backstage where he picked out a song.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Spike sat on a stool on the stage, his knuckles unusually white from gripping the microphone so tightly. Angel smiled at the sight of Spike about to perform and looked at Lorne who was staring at Spike pensively, a thoughtful frown on his face.  
  
"What did he pick?" Angel asked.  
  
The Host smile. "You'll see."  
  
As if on cue, the music started, an electric guitar played a few chords. The guitar was soon joined by the beats of a drum, and the rhythmic plucking of a bass. And then, Spike sang.  
  
// Come as you are, as you were,  
  
As I want you to be.  
  
As a friend, as a friend, as an old enemy//  
  
Angel was taken aback. Not only by the choice of song, since he had been figuring that Spike would choose something fast, but by the talent of his grandchilde. His voice was soothing, and soulful if he dare think that word in relation to Spike.  
  
// Take your time, hurry up  
  
The choice is yours, don't be late.  
  
Take a rest, as a friend, as an old memoria  
  
Memoria. Memoria. Memoria//  
  
  
  
Angel listened closely to the words of the song, and the pain in Spike's voice. He was so angry and so hurt, but about what? What was making him feel like this now?  
  
//Come dowsed in mud, soaked in bleach,  
  
As I want you to be.  
  
As a trend, as a friend, as an old memoria.  
  
Memoria. Memoria. Memoria.  
  
And I swear that I don't have a gun,  
  
No I don't have a gun,  
  
No I don't have a gun//  
  
There was a bridge in the song so Angel took the time to turn his attention from the stage to Lorne, who was watching Spike just as observantly.  
  
"What do you see?" Angel whispered as discretely as he could.  
  
Lorne didn't turn around. He merely waved his hand lazily at Angel. "Shh."  
  
//Memoria. Memoria.  
  
Memoria. Memoria.  
  
And I swear that I don't have a gun.  
  
No I don't have a gun.  
  
No I don't have a gun.  
  
No I don't have a gun.  
  
No I don't have a gun.  
  
Memoria. Memoria//  
  
The music slowed and the song ended. The crowd at Caritas applauded enthusiastically, even Angel couldn't resist showing a little support. Spike sat on the stage smiling sheepishly, if he had circulation his face would have been beet red. Lorne stood up from where he sat at the bar and walked onto the stage and took the microphone from Spike who was more than willing to give it up.  
  
"Well look at mister hidden talent here!" The Host told the makeshift audience gleefully. "Alright, I'll be right back so sit tight and have another drink." Lorne placed the microphone back into the stand and motioned for Spike to follow him to the side of the stage.  
  
"Well, you are seriously vibing my friend."  
  
Spike just stared at the green demon.  
  
"What I mean is, there is just so much going on inside of you, it's coming off of your aura in waves. I see what's holding you back brother, it's your love for those two girls, Angel's ex and uh- the other is like pure energy."  
  
"Dawn, she's the key."  
  
"Right, right. Okay, so there's that. But it's not enough sometimes. I see what you want, I see that there's so much more holding you back."  
  
"The chip. I'm like a bloody dog on a leash."  
  
Lorne looked puzzled. "Chip?"  
  
"You know, soldier boys put it in my brain. I can't hurt people, humans and such."  
  
Lorne still looked confused. "There's nothing there."  
  
"What?" Now it was Spike's turn to be confused.  
  
"In your head. There's no humming. The only thing humming on you is your vocal cords. Whatever was up there, it's not working anymore."  
  
Spike felt like he had been punched in the stomach and every vital organ in his body fell out. His world was spinning, what he had wanted for three years had finally come to him, but was it what he really wanted? Did he still just want to be an evil thing?  
  
"Is that all that you saw?"  
  
"Well, when I said before there was something else that was holding you back, it's your soul."  
  
Spike looked at the demon, eyes questioning him. He must be making this up now. "I think you've gotten me confused with my grandsire, mate."  
  
Lorne laughed. "Nope, you've got a soul alright. Well, sort of."  
  
"What? How? How sort of? What?" Spike was tripping over his own words.  
  
"You see, when a vampire becomes a vampire, his soul leaves his body and the demon takes its place. Apparently, when you were turned, your ties to the world were so great, that little bits of your soul were caught to your essence. But when the demon arose, it was buried. But due to the resent occurrences, your love for the slayer and such, that was like the shovel that broke through. It retrieved the pieces of your soul. Mind you, however, that you are not one-hundred percent good, nor are you one-hundred percent evil."  
  
Spike was in shock. "So what does that make me? Am I anything now? Am I nothing?"  
  
Lorne smiled whole-heartedly. "No silly... you're one of a kind."  
  
Spike looked up and cocked his head. Forcing a gratuitous smile on his face. "Thank you."  
  
Lorne nodded. "It's what I do."  
  
Spike turned and began to walk toward Angel when his motion was interrupted.  
  
"Oh, and one last thing, Spike." The vampire turned around and cocked an eyebrow. "You're a poet."  
  
Spike shook his head. "Was, mate."  
  
"No, you still are. You just need to find your inspiration."  
  
Spike laughed and turned around and walked away. He looked at Angel who had inquisitive eyes. He was about to ask a question when Spike put up his hand to stop him.  
  
"I'll explain in the car." 


	16. Want and Love

Angel turned of the car and pulled the key out of the ignition. He had just barely finished his conversation with Spike about what Lorne had told him, and couldn't believe that they had reached their destination.  
  
Spike smiled and looked at his grandsire. "That, was a very interesting trip."  
  
"I'll say," Angel laughed. They sat in a moment of, for the first time since they had met over one-hundred years ago, comfortable silence.  
  
"Should I really do this?" Spike asked, almost child-like in his tone.  
  
Angel looked at him. "You said you love her... so go to her. If she wants you, let her have you. Don't make the mistakes I did."  
  
Spike smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. His deep blue eyes were misted and looked sad. "You were always looking out for me, Angelus. What happened."  
  
Angel furrowed his brow, not really sure what to say. "We grew apart?" He laughed questioningly.  
  
Spike returned the gesture. "Is this closure?"  
  
Angel looked up. "If that's okay with you."  
  
Spike nodded, smiled, and stepped out of the car. He turned to walk away when he stopped in his tracks. He turned back around and opened the door again. He didn't get in but just looked at Angel who had a puzzled expression on his face.  
  
"Thank you," Spike said, putting aside his dignity and choosing to be a man for once.  
  
"It's the least I could do," Angel replied nonchalantly.  
  
"No." Spike told him more forcefully. "Thank you."  
  
Angel nodded and smiled; it was easier than getting all sappy. "Hey Spike, if you ever want to come to LA, maybe give Connor a visit or something..."  
  
"I'll keep that in mind," he told his grandsire as he closed the door and walked to the stairs of the Summers' residence. He was about to ring the doorbell but saw Tara sitting in the living room. He decided it would be best not to wake everyone, being as how it was four in the morning, so he tapped on the window.  
  
Tara turned around to see Spike standing sheepishly at the door. She hopped up and opened it for the vampire.  
  
"It was open, you know."  
  
"Well that's not a very smart thing to be doin' on the Hellmouth now is it?"  
  
Tara smiled and wrapped her arms warmly around his neck. "I'm glad you're okay," she told him kindly. Tara always had something nice for Spike, whether it be a smile or comforting pat on the back.  
  
"Good to see you too," he told her, as they released each other from their friendly embrace. "Lovely to be back in good ol' Sunnyhell. What are you doing up this late anyway?"  
  
"Couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd wait up for Dawn."  
  
"Well that's right kind of you, Tara."  
  
She nodded. "She'll be glad to see you, Spike."  
  
"And I her. Umm... speaking of the Summers women-"  
  
"Buffy is in her room," Tara told the vampire knowingly.  
  
"Thanks," he told her, before placing a chaste kiss on her cheek and running up the stairs.  
  
He pushed her bedroom door open slowly to see her sitting on her bed, looking out the window. At the sound of his entrance she turned quickly, her hair bouncing on her shoulders. The light of the full moon reflected off of her golden locks and caused a sparkle in her eye.  
  
'She looks so beautiful at night.'  
  
Buffy jumped up at the sight of him and ran into his arms, placing her own possessively around his neck. Spike placed one hand below her shoulder, and the other caressed the small of her back.  
  
"Spike! Thank god you're alright!"  
  
"I don't think god had much to do with it love but I appreciate your concern," he told his love comically, warranting the hint of a giggle from Buffy.  
  
"I mean it," she told him, her voice cracking a bit. "I was worried." She pulled back a bit from their hug and looked into his eyes. Spike looked back and felt honored at the fact that her eyes were misted over with tears. Obviously happy tears... to see him.  
  
Buffy was happy to see him, and that meant the world.  
  
"Dawn! We should find her, let her know you're back."  
  
"It can wait."  
  
Buffy smiled seductively, batting her lashes at the vampire. "Some things can't," she told him, reaching for his belt buckle. Spike held his hands up to stop her actions. Buffy looked at him, disappointment gleaming in her eyes.  
  
"Do you trust me?" Spike asked, looking deeply into her bright green eyes.  
  
"Spike?" She asked apprehensively, unsure of why he stopped her.  
  
"Do you?"  
  
Buffy smiled again, lovingly this time. "With my life."  
  
"The chip is gone Buffy, it doesn't work anymore." Spike was fearing her reaction, afraid that she would reject him. Buffy merely nodded and put her hands on his face, stroking his rigid cheekbones with her thumbs.  
  
"I trust you."  
  
Spike smiled comfortable, relieved that she wasn't angry or afraid, just understanding. Now he was truly happy to be back.  
  
"Now tell me you want me."  
  
Buffy released his face, puzzled by his sudden shift in attitude. "What?"  
  
"Tell me you love me," Spike repeated himself coolly.  
  
"Oh," Buffy sighed, catching on to his game. Her smile reappeared on her face. "I love you, Spike. I love you so much."  
  
"Tell me you want me."  
  
"I've always wanted you, as a matter of fact..." she trailed of, knowing what came next.  
  
"Shut up," Spike teased as he swung her off her feet and into his loving arms. He kissed her forehead tenderly, and carried her into her bed.  
  
END  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Okay, so that's the end... aw, it's kinda sad now that I'm done. Oh well, I have some ideas for a sequal, please review and tell me what you'd think of that!  
  
RaB 


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